The Suddenly Offensive Anthony Kennedy
In a 5-4 decision, ye olde Supreme Court has said that the states cannot execute murderers who have the good sense to be 16 or 17 when they commit first degree murder. Tell me, when you were 16 did you know that murder was wrong? Anywho, the legal merits of executing minors can be debated in good faith by reasonable people of differing viewpoints. I take issue with this ruling for the following two reasons:

{Ein} Last year, the Supreme Court struck down, I believe, Washington state's sentencing guidelines on the grounds that juries should impose the harshest sentences, not judges. Again, reasonable people can debate the merits, but as a whole the ruling is all fine and good. Juries should impose sentences, not judges. Now, wait a second, the death sentences that the Court overthrew today were imposed by juries, not judges. So, now judges should impose sentences, not juries? Make up your minds, you sanctimonious pricks. You can have it one way or the other, not both.

{Zwei} In his majority opinion, the normally dull and inoffensive Justice Anthony Kennedy said that the several states cannot execute minors because of international public opinion. What the hell? The United States is almost alone in the international community in executing 16 year-old murderers, and therefore we shouldn't do it, either? Someone please tell me where in the ever-lovin' United States Constitution it sez that the Supreme Court's job is to make sure we conform to the wide world's norms. Please, I'm honestly asking. When the Constitution was written in 1787, we were the only real democracy on the face of the earth. (England had Parliament, but George III still wielded considerable governmental power.) Does that mean that the Constitution shouldn't have been allowed, because it violated international norms?

I'm excited, though, because now Anthony Kennedy is my least favorite Justice. I didn't have one before. Hooray! If Justice Kennedy was on fire, I would go get some gasoline, and then marshmellows. If someone where to stab him in the eyes, I would visit them in prison to express my most heartfelt thanks. Rot in hell, you son of a bitch, your job is not to make the United States popular in the salons of Europe.

Opinion Poll - Stalemate
Anna Borisovna "Anya" Kamenskaya
Svetlana Borisovna Kamenskaya

I'm terribly fond of both names and have been unable to decide.