Operation ÖSTERREICH

Weekly Wednesday Weigh-in
Last week: 343.6 lbs
This week: "338.2" lbs.
Difference: "-5.4" lbs.

I do not trust the results of morning's weigh-in, thus the quotation marks. The electronic scale was all over the place. I tried to hold still, but I must lean forward in order to see around my rotund belly & spy the digital display. This very technique had been successful through ÖSTERREICH to this point, but this morning I received a series of "ERR" messages before the machine settled on the three hundred thirty-eight point two figure quoted above. This is discouraging, because how am I to know if I am progressing or regressing if I cannot take reasonably accurate measurements? Onward, with uncertainty.

Objective BLACK MAMBA
Today is the memorial of Saint Bridget of Sweden (1303-1373), patroness of Europe & founder of the Brigettines, formally the Order of the Most Holy Savior: saint-link, Wikipedia-link, & Order-link.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
"Weird Al" Yankovic, "Foil" from Mandatory Fun (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: As we progress through time, my preference migrates toward the "style parodies" on "Weird Al's" albums, as opposed to the direct parodies. This is, methinks, largely because I am no longer familiar with most of the popular music of the day, the basis of the direct parodies. When I first heard "Royals," or which "Foil" is a direct parody, I couldn't believe the sorry state of pop music. Before listening to Mandatory Fun I'd never heard either "Fancy," parodied as "Handy," or "Radioactive," parodied as "Inactive." This is what's popular these days? I never thought I'd be almost—almost! I stess—nostalgic for the days of Linkin Park & N*Sync. If you need me, I'll be over there cursing under my breath & further withdrawing from popular culture.

As a big fat fatty, I have always loved "Weird Al's" food songs, & "Foil" fits proudly in this tradition. Nevertheless, the non-food back half of the song is what I most enjoy.

"Oh, by the way I've cracked the code,
I figured out these shadow organizations,
And the Illuminati know
That they're finally primed for world domination.

"And so you've got black helicopters coming 'cross the border,
Puppet masters for the New World World Order,
Be aware, there's always someone that's watching you.
And still the government won't admit they faked the whole Moon landing,
Thought control rays, psychotronic scanning, don't mind that!
I'm protected 'cause I made this hat—

"From aluminum foil! (Foil)
Wear a hat that's foil-lined,
In an alien's inclined
To probe your butt or read your mind.
Looks a bit peculiar ('culiar),
Seems a little crazy,
But someday I'll prove (I'll prove, I'll prove, I'll prove)
There's a big conspiracy."