My mobile telephone is dying. Specifically, the screen is malfunctioning progressively, leading me to suspect inevitable total failure sooner rather than later. This is not unexpected, after all, I've had the device since 2010. The bugbear is that I own a unicorn & unicorns are rare & precious creatures. My mobile is a "dumbphone," & as soon as I walked into the Verizon store to see what they had on offer the too-cocksure-by-half clerk said, "It's 2014! Time for a smartphone!" No, it's not, it's really not. I'm no Luddite. I do not doubt the usefulness of smartphones, which I have seen demonstrated on many an occasion, but I also know me. A smartphone would be a source of endless distraction, an absolute impediment to my spiritual & social growth. For a habitual recluse like me, a smartphone would would signify a profound disengagement from the world & a retreat into myself. I'm not strong enough to do that & stay on the straight & narrow. But I digress. My "dumbphone" is a unicorn because it is a flip phone, precluding even the possibility of pocket dialing, & also possesses a QWERTY keyboard, perfectly suited to & necessary for text messaging. I adore my flip phone, both for the sensation of being Captain Kirk opening up his communicator on a strange, new world & for the aforementioned lack of inadvertent transmission. I need the QWERTY keyboard because I prefer texting to calling (see "Weird Al's" scathing critique "First World Problems") &, now that I've had a QWERTY keyboard I can never go back to hunting through the three-letters-per-number routine. My mobile is a unicorn, & unicorns are no longer on offer. I can replace my dying unicorn with a flip phone or a phone with a QWERTY keyboard, but not both. By Lucifer's beard! I would say that I'm on the horns of a dilemma, but I'm really not. The decision is simple, just unpleasant: I like the flip-open action, but I need QWERTY. I shall cherish these last few days of walking around with a unicorn in my pocket. (Is that a unicorn in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?)

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
The Proclaimers, "Scotland's Story" from Persevere (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: "Scotland's Story" has been in my head for days. 'Tis hoped this selection as the R.B.D.S.O.T.D. will exorcise it.