The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day

John Williams, "The Adventures of Mutt" from Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (The Last Angry Man)

Commentary: Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is undoubtedly the least of the four Indiana Jones pictures, but the Indiana Jones franchise on its worst day is still leaps & bounds above most action-adventures films at their absolute peak. So, still damned fine entertainment.

Code Name: CHAOS
One of the problems with Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is that the title isn't quite right, doesn't quite fit the pattern of the immortal '80s trilogy.

Raiders of the Lost Ark
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

The model is "[Person/Persons] of/and the [Thing]." Crystal Skull is "[Person] and the [Thing] of the [Thing];" the cadence is catawampus. The only title with which Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is consistent is the retroactive renaming of Raiders as Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark, but that's only a cynical marketing ploy; watch the film & you'll see that the title is still given as Raiders of the Lost Ark. Now, I acknowledge that Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom contains both "and the" & "of," but the key difference is that the "of" is just "of," not "of the." Thus, "Temple of Doom" remains functionally equivalent to "Lost Ark" & "Last Crusade" & distinct from "of the Crystal Skull."

I've read that an initial title for the fourth picture was Indiana Jones and the Saucer Men, an open nod the 1950s science fiction. It was reportedly George Lucas who insisted that the film be titled Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the [Thing]. So, the rhythmically askew title appears to have been unavoidable. That said, allow me to suggest a few superior alternatives, right off the top of my head:

Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull
Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skulls
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of Skulls
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of Horror
Indiana Jones and the Skulls of Destiny

The possibilities are endless. If only they had adhered to the [Person/Persons] of/and the [Thing] formula! Well, that & cast someone other than Shia LeBeouf as Mutt Williams (Henry Jones III). Well, that & not called the character "Mutt Williams," a name clearly meant to parallel Indiana Jones (Williams & Jones, both common surnames; Sallah to Indy, "You're named after the dog?"), but utterly lacking in cadence & panache. Well, that & not used so much C.G.I. in the jungle chase sequence. Well, that &…