"There's a girl with a crown and a specter,Bonus! Song of My Birthday
Who's on WLSD,
And she says that the scene isn't what it's been
And she's thinking of going home.
"That it's old and it's totally over now,
And it's old and it's over, it's over now,
And it's over, it's over, it's over now,
I can see myself—
"At the end of the tour,
When the road disappears,
If there's anymore people around,
When the tour runs aground,
And if you're still around,
Then we'll meet at the end of the tour.
"The engagements are booked through the end of the world,
So we'll met at the end of the tour…"
Jim Gaffigan, "Presents" from Beyond the Pale (The Last Angry Man)
Commentary: Many members of our society, with the best of intentions, are doing their darnedest to keep me from having a good time on my birthday.
"'Cause, you know, there's so much pressure in our society to have a good time on your birthday. You know, it's like, 'I can't believe I'm going to work on my birthday!' 'I can't believe I'm doing laundry on my birthday!' 'I can't believe I'm paying for sex on my birthday! Rip off!'"Project GLOWWORM | He's Dead, Jim
Asa a boy & then a young man, looking at my grandfathers, my father, & my uncles, I knew that I would lose my hair through male pattern baldness. I resigned myself to this. I honestly thought I'd be more bald than this by age thirty-seven; I'd have been quite pleased if you'd told me I'd still have this much hair left at this point. And that's to say nothing of my incredible whiskers.