The Most Wonderful Time of the Year - The Game The Debacle
Hey, I've got a great idea, let's throw on fourth down! You fucking idiots.

Lloyd Carr is a great football coach. I have never suggested that he should be fired, nor am I doing so now. I have oftened criticized his decisions, including once going so far after a disappointing loss to Purdue as to send an email reminding him that NCAA football games are sixty minuts long, not thirty. But, I have never suggested that he should be replaced. (I dare anyone to confront me with evidence of making such a statement.) Lloyd Carr has an incredible career winning percentage and he has done what even the legendary Bo never managed: he won a national championship. That said, Lloyd Carr did a very poor job coaching his team today. His defense was not prepared for the Ohio State offense, his offense was not prepared for the Ohio State defense, and his staff did a poor job of adjusting during the game. Ohio State outplayed us in every facet of the game, and a lot of the blame must fall on the coaching staff in general and Head Coach Lloyd Carr in particular. He is the man; so, the buck must stop there.

The Roman senator Marcus Porcius Cato (the Elder, a.k.a. "the Censor," hyperlink) was known to end all of his speeches, regardless of their subject, by saying, "I also think Carthage should be destroyed." I feel that Michigan's offensive coordinator, Terry Malone (hyperlink), is incompetent and must be fired. I am tempted to end all of my Newsletter columns with the declaration, "I also think Terry Malone should be fired."

I have criticized Braylon Edwards as overrated from the moment he first stepped onto the field wearing No. 80. This year, he has redeemed himself, earning the absolute right to wear the coveted No. 1. It is sad to note that on a crucial fourth down today, he played like the "Stonehands" of old. Edwards has proven himself capable of far better play, and even my dark, spiteful heart goes out to him after that inexcusable drop.

Chad Henne and Mike Hart are going to do great things as Michigan Wolverines, but today, they cracked under the pressure and played horrendously. They weren't up to the challenge. What remains to be seen now is how they pick themselves up and respond in the bowl game. They are amazingly talented players. The one positive thing that might be taken away from today's disastrous loss is the psychological toughness that will help the froshies overcome later adversity.

I hate the University of Wisconsin Badgers. I hate them not more, but differently than I hate the Ohio State Buckeyes, for whom I have at least a grudging respect. I don't respect anything about the Badgers; I hate every single thing about them and their program. Despite this enmity and my admiration for Kirk Ferentz, I hope Wisconsin defeats Iowa today and earns the right to go to the Rose Bowl. Michigan simply does not deserve the honor of representing the Big Ten, not after today's humilition. We had our chance and we failed. We don't deserve to go to Pasadena.

And yes, I will be wearing a Michigan T-shirt on Monday. Win, lose, or draw (now an impossibility in NCAA football), they are my team, now and forever. Go Blue!

H-A-N
Have a surreal night.