Vote For Kodos - Countdown: 1 Day
If President George W. Bush is reelected, the First Amendment will be repealed; Attorney General Ashcroft will go from house to house eating your children; six new supermegaultraconservatives will be appointed to the Supreme Court; and the United States will bomb every single nation on Earth.

If Senator John Kerry is elected, Jacques Chirac will be appointed Secretary of State; Noam Chomsky will be appointed Secretary of the newly renamed Department of Peace; the FBI will be prohibited from arresting a single terrorist; and heterosexual marriages will be outlawed.

We've had elections before, we'll have elections again. Please vote, but try to keep things in perspective.