Deep in the Heart of Darkness... er, Texas
On Friday, monsoon season came to what the locals call North Texas (a larger area than the Dallas-Fort Worth "Metroplex"). Note that this designation does not cover the Texas Panhandle (the area immediately to the west of Oklahoma), even though every square inch of the Panhandle is farther north than "North Texas." Yesterday and today, temperatures have been in the 30s F, the rain has been light but constant, and the Texans have been panicking. It's fucking hilarious, you would think the sky is falling from the way these people are reacting; they are beside themselves with fear. In Michigan, this exact same weather is called "November," but down here all the television station are advising people to avoid any unnecessary travel. Bwa ha ha ha ha!

"Don't mess with Texas"? Who in the high holy hell do you Lone Star pansies think you're kidding? A cold rain has not just messed with Texas, it has brought North Texas to its knees. Fantastic, just fantastic.