The Pot and the Kettle
Uproar. Racism must be opposed and racists must be denounced, but where in the high holy hell does a junior minister for the Indian government find the moral authority to claim that India has "firmly rejected all forms of discrimination and racism"? India, where scores of people are slaughtered every single year in interreligious warfare between Hindus and Muslims. India, which still has a motherfucking caste system.

The asinine bastard on Big Brother is worthy of condemnation and ridicule, but not by an official of a country wherein tens of thousands of people are regarded as "untouchable" for purely arbitrary reasons.

The Faustian Tale of Joe D and the Tangled Webber of Lies
Words fail me. The Devil Webber. (The story is by Saturday Night's feisty sister.) I wanted to write "fuck Joe Dumars," but how could I write that about Joe D? "Curse you, Joe Dumars" and "A pox on Joe Dumars" both seemed too flowery and nearly certain to be misinterpretted by readers as a jest. I suppose I shall have to fall back on that great stalwart of bitter disappointment: damn you, Mr. Dumars.

Because of Chris Webber, the Fab Five's exploits and very existence have been purged from the official history of NCAA basketball. Like something out of a Stalist nightmare, the NCAA's and U of M's official position is that those two seasons worth of games were never played. The University of Michigan had a men's basketball team in neither the 1991-92 nor 1992-93 seasons. And now Joe Dumars has recruited this base villain, the Benedict Arnold of the University of Michigan, to play for the Detroit Pistons?

Basketball is a magnificent game, but the National Basketball Association is an abomination. I do not care about the Detroit Pistons, I care about Detroit, and though the Pistons play way out in the hinterland of Auburn Hills, Detroit has benefited in both prestige and morale from the Pistons' recent successes. (A mirror of how I feel about the Detroit Tigers, the paramount difference being I do not regard the entire sport of basketball with contempt and disdain.) So, I have rooted "for" the Pistons as far as I support whatever eases the Motor City's considerable burdens.

No more. Chris Webber is a fiend. Whatever little emotional investment I make in the NBA will be solely devoted to wishing disaster, debacle, and doom upon the hated Detroit Pistons. Damn you, Mr. Dumars. Thank you for everything you've given Detroit, as both a player and an executive, but damn you.