The Explorers Club
No. CLXVIII - The "Caspian Sea Monster."








And as long as we're already thinking about those nefarious Ruskies…

Spy v. Spy
I love absolutely everything about this Russian spy hullabaloo.

In the First Chief Directorate, the revelation of the plot: Spies Like Us. In the Second Chief Directorate, the expected Soviet Russian doubletalk: From Russia with Love. In the Third Chief Directorate, the wheels of justice begin to turn: The Quiller Memorandum. In the Fourth Chief Directorate, there is an intersection of the sublime and the absurd: Get Smart. In the Fifth Chief Directorate, there is an escape more tragicomic than dramatic: Three Days of the Condor.

The Republic of Cyprus has shown itself to be a fierce enemy of the United States by essentially helping the eleventh Russian spy, the only one to evade the F.B.I. and successfully flee this country, escape. Many commentators are allowing the Cypriots to hide behind the excuse of incompetence, but I don't buy it. The man was suspected of operating as an intelligence agent under a variety of assumed names and identities, and yet the Cypriot judge honestly believed that making him surrender one of his multiple, multiple sets of travel documents would somehow stop the man from fleeing Cyprus? No one could possibly be that stupid and survive into adulthood; I thus suspect the Cypriots to be in cahoots with the Russians. We should let the Greek Cypriots know that they have made an enemy of the United States, and feed them to the rapacious Turkish Cypriots.

I'm not in the least mad at the Russians, because they are behaving exacting as one would expect. Of course they're actively trying to spy on us, what else would they be doing? Only someone as arrogant, ignorant, and naive as President Obama could be surprised by Russia's ongoing skulduggery. Hours before the arrests, our charlatan president was conducting "burger diplomacy" with the President of the Russian Federation (whose surname is "Whatever" according to our bogglingly inept Secretary of State). President Obama's appeasing attitude toward Russia can best be summarized by Edward Furlong's line from T2: Judgment Day: "…Russia? Aren't they our friends now?"

The Rebel Black Dot Song of Canada Day
"Weird Al" Yankovic, "Canadian Idiot" from Straight Outta Lynwood (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Happy Dominion Day, you hosers!