Monday, December 19, 2016

The Rebel Black Dot Christmas Song of the Day

Reel Big Fish, "Skank for Christmas" from the Happy Skalidays E.P. (The Last Jolly Man)

Skammentary: Interwoven within "Skank for Christmas's" original melody is a medley of Christmas classics. This is just the tip of the iceberg of uncharacteristic things about Happy Skalidays.
"I don't wanna go riding in a one-horse sleigh,
I don't care about a winder wonderland anyway,
I don't wanna build a man out of ice and snow,
I don't wanna kiss under the mistletoe,
I don't care if there are presents underneath the tree,
Well, there's just one thing I need.

"I just wanna,
I just wanna,
I just wanna,
I just wanna,
I just wanna skank for Christmas!

"I don't wanna eat sugar plumbs or candy canes,
I don't wanna go wassailing, whatever that means,
I don't care about a white-bearded man in red,
I don't care about elves or a reindeer-pulled sled,
I don't care if Rudolph's nose is shining bright,
There's only one thing I need tonight.

"I just wanna,
I really, really wanna,
I just wanna,
I only, only wanna,
I just wanna skank for Christmas!

"I don't wanna roast chestnuts on an open flame,
Silver bells and tinsel won't make my day,
I didn't hang up my stocking above the fireplace,
But I've got my dancing shoes on and I'm running in place,
Baby, it's cold outside, but don't worry,
Once we start dancing we'll be warm in a hurry.
Let's go!

"Dancer, Dasher, Prancer, Vixen,
Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen,
You could turn 'em all into venison,
Tails (unintelligible) medicine!

"I don't care about coal in my stocking,
Sugar plumb fairies or jingle bell rocking,
Maybe I could use a little ho-ho-ho,
Well, we'll just see how it goes!…

"And there's nobody
I'd rather be skanking with
Than you!

"And of course, when I say 'skank' I'm talking about the ska dance, and nothing else. Merry Christmas!"
Your humble narrator did once pen the lines, for the Real Can of Yams song "Riot Grrl":
"I want a girl who likes to skank,
I want a girl who's not a skank…"

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