At the Blinkies' wedding, I asked Lindsay if she'd come to visit me once I moved to Boston. She said of course she would. She asked if she could bring a few friends. "I'll bring my friend Tammy. You'd like her. She's perky and has big boobs." I fear I may have disappeared for a few moments through some manner of dimensional tunnel while the conversation continued without me. Yes, please, when you come to visit me in Boston where I will be utterly lonely please bring your friends. That way, it'll really be a collective vacation for the Cal graduate Psych students and I'll just stand in the background trying not to fuck up your good time. (According to Lindsay, I'm the horribly insensitive one in this friendship.) Jesu cristo.

And let us not forget there's nothing I love better than perkiness. I admit that I'm dark; the only thing that bothers me about Lindsay calling me dark is her failure to admit that she is just as dark as I am. For a student of psychology, I really don't think she knows herself all that well. Of course, I'm just going to broach this subject, not give it the in depth analysis it needs.