Bachelorette No. 3 called this evening and before I could escape she asked, "So, when are we going to hang out?" Gee, I don't know, I've got a pretty busy schedule of putting needles in my eyes. It's a strange business, to dread the ringing of your own phone.

More on nicknames and our cast tomorrow, I promise. If I'm lying, may I spend many hours discussing in exquisite detail exactly why Bachelorette No. 3 is so very, very miserable. Perish the thought. (That's an odd duck of an expression, isn't it?)