Hurray! More depressing news! I received a note and some pictures from my mom today. Included in the envelope was a newspaper clipping bearing the headline, "Program offers people a second chance to teach." At the bottom of the note, Mom had written, "I cut this article out of the Flint Journal, in case you might have any interest in this program." Mother of God, how did my mom live in the same house as me for eighteen years and have so little idea of who I am? More on this later, I'm sure.

Today, it is officially as cold as a witch's tit. Come to think of it, it has been for over a week now. I'm quite pleased, because I finally get a chance to regularly wear the fur hat I inherited from Grandpa Wilson. It's from Finland! This morning I woke up not because my alarm clock(s) went off, but because I was shivering. Having already used all of my blankets, which I know realize are not numerous enough, I got my sleeping bag out of the closet and climbed in beneath my covers. It worked like a charm. Mike Wilson 1, Nature 0.

Actual good news! I have a wench! That doesn't mean I have a girlfriend or even any kind of relationship with the young lass in question, but I get to call her a wench and not get in trouble! (Mind you, it does go over better when paired with "comely." As in, "Aye, she's a comely wench, her radiance like that o' the sun!") It's like some kind of wonderful dream. That settles it, the pirate life is the only life for me.