I am simultaneously one ugly son of a gun and one handsome devil. By the time I'm forty I will be bald and my skin will look like Robert Redford's, a situation exacerbated by my refusal to wear sun-tan lotion. On the other hand, there's the mischievious glint in my eyes and boy howdy, do I have a nice smile.

Tremble before my horrible visage!

Be stupified by my brilliant beauty!

In either event, surrender yourself to the power of France... er, me!