Codename: CHAOS
I've got it! Instead of calling Dylweed's sons Dlyweedsons and any potential daughters Dylweeddottirs, all of this kids shall be Dylweedlings! The happy Dylweed family of Kokomo, Indiana: Daddy Dylweed, Mrs. Dylweed, J. Dylweedling, and Z. Dylweedling. Long may they prosper.

As for Steve R (formerly and unsatisfactorially known as Father Steve), I've got several preliminary ideas: Notre Lame, Notre Dude, Stat Boy (becaue of his legendary recall of sports minutiae), the Golden Thunderdome, Laser Zeppelin. Also, because he looks just like David Duchovny: David Duchonvy, Duchovny, Fox Mulder. Suggestions are welcome, especially since a Secret Base codename is not like a nickname. You cannot give yourself a nickname, but you can determine your own codename (though if I don't like it I reserve the right to taunt you and ignore your choice); so, Steve, here's your chance to put in your own two cents. Meanwhile, I'll keep hoping the muses pipe up sooner rather than later.

Idiosyncratic Routine
I am out of step with the personal opinion of the vast majority of ordinary Americans in that I believe homosexuals should have the same right to marry as heterosexuals. My argument goes like this: Britney Spears has already been married twice, once for fifty-five hours and once to Kevin Federline, yet the two gentlemen who have loved each other and lived together for fifty years should not be allowed to say they are married for what reason, exactly? And don't cite religion, because in America marriage licenses are given out by the several states, not the churches, and the several states are not supposed to be able to discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation.

I am out of step with the personal opinion of the majority of Americans who support gay marriage in that I believe one spouse in a homosexual marriage should adopt the other's surname. The point of marriage is that two people become one, yes? Doesn't it then make sense for those two people to have the same last name? Calling dibs, tossing a coin, going by who's older or who makes more money, the more subjective method of determining who has a cooler last name, all seem like fine ways to decide whose surname to adopt. Would not a common name aid the fostering of unity that is so vital to forging a successful marriage, gay or straight?