Oh, how I loathe the very concept of Daylight Saving Time. An additional hour a day spent under the tyranny of the accursed Sun? 'Tis a beastly fate. And who have we to thank for this sorry state of affairs but our perfidious proxies in the bicameral Congress. Pray believe me, good people, for the sake of our honor and our posterity we must rescind Article I of the Constitution!