Friday, May 23, 2008

The 23rd of May is Narwhal Day, a day of celebration of and sympathy for the narwhal, one of the good Earth's most splendidly bizarre creatures. There are three elements to the celebration of Narwhal Day: a) the wearing of the gray, b) the hearing of "Sympathy for the Narwhal," and c) recitation of the Oath of Narwhal Day. You must wear at least one article of gray clothing, be it a shirt, pants, socks, or even underwear, though the spirit of Narwhal Day, the spirit of true sympathy for these grandly misbegotten beasts, means the gray should be displayed proudly, not hidden between your clothes and your naughty bits.

The Oath of Narwhal Day
The narwhal is a noble, pitiable creature,
A magnificent, monstrous visage.
An asymmetrical tooth for a horn,
Or sometimes two, or sometimes none,
Half again as long as the beast.

I swear my sympathy for the narwhal.
I will not lie and convince it all is well,
But I will be a friend to the narwhal.
The mocking dolphins and snobby manatees
Will get their well-earned comeuppance,
And the narwhal will frolic all day.

I dream this dream of the narwhal
And celebrate it in all its improbable, oddball glory,
On this the eighth Narwhal Day.

Narwhal (Monodon monoceros)

And now a tour of Narwhal Days past with a series of Wayback Machinelinks!

Narwhal Day '07

Narwhal Day '06

Narwhal Day '05

Narwhal Day '04

Narwhal Day '03

The Rebel Black Dot Song of Narwhal Day
D.J. Seaghost, "Sympathy for the Narwhal" from Rice Capades (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: "Play something sad, convince it all is not well."

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