Who Used To Own It? West Indies Edition - Round Two
Round One Answers
1) Barbados - Great Britain
2) Suriname - The Netherlands
3) Jamaica - Great Britain
4) Haiti - France
5) Dominican Republic - Spain
6) Dominica - Great Britain
7) Puerto Rico - Spain

Round One Scoring
Skeeter 7/7 = 100%
The Watergirl 6/7 = 86%
Dr. Hee Haw 5/7 = 71%
The Guy 3/7 = 43%
K. Steeze 3/7 = 43%

Great Caesar's ghost, the first perfect score in the brief but illustrious history of Who used To Own It?! Congratulations, Skeeter! I am humbled by your vast knowledge and invigorated by the challenge is poses. And well done to you all, many of you far more comfortable in the warm, familiar waters of the Caribbean Sea than in the fabled jungles of the dark continent. Thank you all for playing, for answering the clarion call of Thursday's now famous Direct Hyperlink, but most especially my thanks to The watergirl, the only soul to brave the queries before the Direct Hyperlink. Brass balls, Katie, brass balls.

Also, Dominica was labeled "Tricky" because France nominally owned the island before ceding it to Great Britain at the conclusion of the Seven Years' War (the French and Indian War), though there was never an accompanying French colonial presence. Half a point would have been awarded for an answer of France.

Round Two
And now, emboldened by your collective triumph, I bid you test your mettle against... Round Two! Have fun, I hope you learn something (though if Round One is any indication you already know everything), and thank you so very much for playing. Good luck!

1) Antigua and Barbuda

2) Belize

3) Cuba

4) Guyana

5) Saint Kitts and Nevis

6) Brazil

Tricky
7) Trinidad and Tobago

The Quality of Mercy
In the Fall, I was picking up a few groceries at my mother's request when I was approached by a man who handed me a bright orange card. The card read:

Hello!

I AM A DEAF PERSON

I am selling this
Deaf Education System
card to make my living.

WILL YOU KINDLY BUY ONE?

PAY ANY PRICE YOU WISH!

THANK YOU

The back of the card sported simple illustrations of the American Single-Hand Manual Alphabet for the Deaf and the caption, "Hand alphabet used by the Deaf throughout the world. Easy to learn."

I had in my wallet fourteen dollars, four singles and a ten. I paused for a moment, thinking not really on a conscious level, and handed the man the the folded dollar bills. He pressed his palms together and if in prayer and bowed his head in thanks before moving along. Why, why in the name of all that's holy didn't I give him the ten? By tiny inches now and again this has been eating me alive. I am poor, but not so poor that I couldn't spare ten dollars for someone clearly in greater need than myself. What did I have to buy that was so important six measly bucks made all the difference?

I have been to confession and partaken of the Sacrament of Reconciliation twice in the past six weeks, but prior to that I had not been in three years, since just before Easter in '05. At that time, Father Bill, since revealed as a drunkard and dismissed from his pastoral duties, seemed disinterested in my sins, possibly because though they encompassed the deadly sins of gluttony, sloth, envy, wrath, lust, and pride, they were commonplace, everyday sins. Not murder most foul, no rape or pilferage in the offing, just the sins of a weak man striving and failing to achieve the Christian ideal. Before he gave me absolution, he suggested that perhaps I was being too hard on myself for relatively minor sins. Of course, Father Bill was a squooshy, hazy, feel good type of priest, seemingly none too concerned with the grave difference between venial and mortal sins, but I believe he was right about me, at least to some degree.

The dark bastard scoffs each and every time I ask for God's mercy, I pray that God forgives me, because I know I'll never forgive myself. I brush off a great many mistakes and missteps, some perhaps too quickly, but others, like the incident with the deaf gentleman, haunt me. Any sin I might have committed has since been absolved through the blessed Sacrament, but still some small corner of my mind dwells upon the occasion. But it's not like I didn't give him anything, another corner protests, I gave him almost 30%, almost a third of what I had on me! But no matter what I do, I simply refuse to be pleased with myself, I always find my efforts wanting. I could have done more. I could have given him ten dollars instead of four. I should have. I could have done more. I am simply incapable of taking to heart the words of the Bard:

"The quality of mercy is not strain'd,
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath. It is twice blest:
It blesseth him that gives and him that takes."
--Wm. Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice

(Reminiscent of the Book of Job, The Merchant of Venice is the most challenging of Shakespeare's plays, at least of those with which I am familiar.)

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Barenaked Ladies, "Rule the World With Love" from Barenaked Ladies Are Me (T.L.A.M.)

The Explorers Club
No. LXXIV – the Questing Beast, a fell creature from Arthurian legend.





There is a dearth of images of the Questing Beast, but it is a monster with a laudable literary pedigree.

The Queue
I am terribly ignorant of all but the broad strokes of the vast body of Arthurian legend, one of many deficiencies I hope to correct in the thirty-one-odd years left to me. In an attempt to surmount the backlog of books plaguing me, I have embarked upon a rigid reading plan. I have a reading goal for each day, and if I do not complete a given day's reading it is simply added to the next day's total, requiring all the more reading to avoid falling yet further behind. In a month of the plan, I have never fallen more than three days behind and never taken more than two days to catch back up. If I exceed the day's quota, the extra pages do not reduce the following day's requirement, they instead a boon toward the ultimate goal. It is a somewhat joyless task, but necessary if ever I am to tame the herd of books on my nightstand.

Herman Melville, Moby-Dick ***progress resumed after a sabbatical***
Sloane Crosley, I Was Told There'd Be Cake
John Hodgman, The Areas of My Expertise
Nicolas Sarkozy, Testimony
Ernest Shackleton, South: A Memoir of the Endurance Voyage
Robert M. Soderstrom, The Big House: Fielding H. Yost and the Building of Michigan Stadium ***Fall '09, even if line jumping proves necessary***
Jung Chang and Jon Halliday, Mao: The Unknown Story
Victor Davis Hanson, A War Like No Other: How the Athenians and Spartans Fought the Peloponnesian War

And a thousand others, not even counting all the research I want to do for Project TROIKA. Bog, were I do to naught all day but read there would still never be time enough for them all. So many lovely, lovely books, so little and tremendously fleeting time. It is a tragedy of riches.

Perchance to Dream
I had two discrete dreams this morning. In the first, I was at a ball when I was suddenly come upon by an old high school acquaintance, one of many with whom I have "reconnected" since joining Facebook several weeks hence. Oddly, though she looked like th elder of two sisters, she insisted that she was the younger. When I attempted to rejoin my dance partner, the elder-younger sister collapsed in a heap and wept terribly, apparently for love of me. Good job, random subconscious, stroke that ego!

In the second, I was in a thoroughly alien-seeming room, one of a trio of individuals who through a rather disgusting process combined with two others to form some manner of invincible superhero. Think Voltron, only of moderate stature and repulsively organic, replete with gallons of ooze. But as there were only three of us, with nary a clue as to the location of the other two necessary for the horrid conglomeration, we were fodder for the unseen foes intent upon our deaths. I'd have rather reversed the sequence of the episodes, but such is the nature of dreams.

Believe: Red Wings 3-0 Predators
Series: Detroit 4-2 Nashville. Four down, twelve to go.

I missed the lion's share of Friday's game - Red Wings 2-1 Predators (O.T.) - watching the premiere of Doctor Who (the Christmas Special, "Voyage of the Damned"), and today's contest pulled double-duty with live coverage of the Mass at *shudder* Yankee Stadium. I believe I was so easily distracted because I never really doubted the Wings' eventual victory. I give the Predators credit for their effort, but they were simply no match for the juggernaut of the winged wheel. They might very well have been swept had Dominik Hasek not been felled by one of his periodic and puzzling bouts of mediocrity. I love the way the Wings play under head coach Mike Babcock.

Onward ho! Lord Stanley's Cup awaits!

The Pope Conquers America
And speaking of today's nationally televised open air Mass: popelink. C.N.N. betrayed a hatred of Catholicism worthy of the hypocrite Oliver Cromwell when immediately after His Holiness left Yankee Stadium their coverage switched to relentless and tedious hammering of the Church over the sex abuse scandal. Once you take the Church's money as part of a settlement, you lose any right to moral indignation. Want a greater voice for the laity in the running of the Church? Go join the Protestants, their dwindling ranks could certainly use the converts.

Who Used To Own It? West Indies Edition
Scoring tomorrow! Get your answers in while there is yet time!

See The Painted Veil. You'll thank me.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Softball, "Foreign Land" from Plea for Peace (T.L.A.M.)

Habemus Papum!
Happy anniversary to His Holiness the Pope: popelink. Also on this date, in A.D. 1012, St. Alphege was martyred in Greenwich, England. (Martyrdom is the quick, though certainly unpleasant, route to sainthood.)

In addition to the third anniversary of Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger's election as Pope Benedict XVI (2005), 19 April is also the two hundred thirty-third anniversary of the Battle of Lexington and Concord (1775), the Shot Heard 'Round the World that inaugurated the Revolutionary War; the fifteenth anniversary of the fiery end to the Branch Davidian siege in Waco, Texas (1993); and not coincidentally the thirteenth anniversary of the terrorist bombing of the Murrah Federal Building on Oklahoma City, Oklahoma (1995). Throughout the late '90s, before I'd ever heard of al Qaeda, I used to dread the coming of April 19th, always expecting domestic terrorists to make some manner of murderous strike. Not so much anymore, for a confluence of reasons.

Vote For Kodos & The Stars My Destination
The space shuttle fleet is scheduled to be retired in 2010. The new Orion spacecraft is not scheduled to be operational until 2014 (I know that date looks futuristic, but it's a scant six years distant). If a hypothetical President Obama guts N.A.S.A.'s funding to the degree Senator Obama promises/threatens, the first flight of an Orion will be pushed back, if it ever happens at all. Our European and Japanese partners, for all their technical sophistication, have no manned spacecraft; neither the E.S.A, nor any of the independent European space agencies, nor J.A.X.A. have ever placed an astronaut in orbit without hitching a ride on an American and/or Russian spaceship. The Chinese have independent launch capability and have orbited their own astronauts, but they are neither participants in the International Space Station nor, how shall I phrase this?, terribly cooperative in these matters. The Chinese have an attitude reminiscent of the U.S.A.-U.S.S.R. Space Race.

I mention all this in the context of a hyperlink. Without the S.T.S. fleet, and Orion still on the drawing board, the only means to place astronauts in orbit and return them "safely" to the earth would be Russia's Soyuz capsules: landinglink. A vote for Barack Obama is a vote to lose America's ability to place astronauts in low Earth orbit for the first time since 1961. Happy landings!

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Frightened Rabbit, "Old Old Fashioned" via iTunes (Daddy Dylweed)

Commentary: Frightened Rabbit reminds me of my late Grandpa Wilson's, God rest his soul, V.W. Rabbit. I loved that car when I was a youngling, especially the silhouette of a bolting hare on the front fender.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Hi-Standard, "Asian Pride" from Short Music For Short People (T.L.A.M.)

Who Used To Own It? West Indies Edition
The latest round of Who Used To Own It? has been available since Monday and only a single player has availed herself of the opportunity. THANKS, KATIE! It doesn't matter one lick how much or how little you know, the point of Who Used To Own It? is to put forward your best guess, have fun, and learn something in the process. The thrill of victory is worth risking the agony of defeat. I was on competitive sports teams with many of you; so, I know you understand and owe allegiance to this principle. I'll ever be so solicitous as to use a *shudder* baseball analogy: come on, guys, step up to the plate!

Direct Hyperlink!

Eye of the Tiger
The intensity and frequency of Tiger's affectionate behaviors waxes and wanes. Currently, we are waxing, and last night I fell asleep with her on my bed for the first time in a couple months. Woot! I love my kitty.

The Irrevocable Shackles of Matrimony: Matrimania - D.C.
I will be flying solo at my sister's wedding, now little more than a fortnight distant. Last summer, I asked The Sardine to accompany me as my date and she accepted, seemingly with some enthusiasm. Early in March, I reminded her of the approaching nuptials and soon learned that due to business travel she would be unable to attend. I only know four girls on the Eastern seaboard, one of their number my sister, the bride, and the second being the indisposed Sardine. Skeeter is to be buried under mounds of legal treachery as she will be between two work trips and The Watergirl has plans already in place to be traveling that weekend. Strictly speaking, I do know several other girls between Maine and Florida, but they are either online friends whom I have never met in the real world (and it would seem awkward to meet someone for the first time as your date to your sister's wedding, no?) or old acquaintances with whom I've all but lost contact. So, I shall have to be clever and adroit to avoid getting dragged into a most unpleasant confab with a couple who shall remain anonymous. As the only other people I will know at the wedding festivities will be my sister, The L.A.W., and my by-then brother-in-law, Brother-in-L.A.W., who as the bride and bridegroom will be understandably otherwise engaged, and my parents, of whom I already see a great deal, I am not hopeful for my prospects. Who am I kidding? I'm doomed.

Matrimania - St. Louis
Washington is a train ride away from New York or Boston, but aside from The Gal I don't know any girls within a fairly large radius from St. Louis; so, I had always intended to attend the wedding of The Guy to The Gal without distaff companionship. The implicit blow is immeasurably softened by the presence of my fellow Blue Tree Whackers; the same anonymous couple will also be present, but I shan't be left alone with them. Things are looking up!

The Irrevocable Shackles of Matrimony: The Wedding Album
I have too long neglected the concluding chapter(s) of "The Wedding Album," and for that you, my treasured readers and darling friends, have my deepest apologies. Please understand, though, that outside of "The Wedding Album" I have given my word not to write about my brother and his wife, The Bridegroom and The Bride, even though my sundered relationship with my brother and erstwhile best friend is the paramount issue on my emotional plate.

Skeeter commands. I obey. (There is much that could be said about a person whose blog has not been updated in almost precisely twenty-nine months scolding me about the need to start blogging "about life" again, but we'll save that for another discussion.) So, I henceforth rededicate myself to posting for all the world to see the minutiae of my life. Coming attractions include:

One Hell of a Holy Week
Grand Blanc in Detroit
The Four-Ten Split
The Endurance Ends

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Reel Big Fish, "Where Have You Been?" from Cheer Up! (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: "What makes you think I'd ever want you again?"

A bit of poetry that I attempted to quote yesterday at work, but less than successfully, i.e., I remembered the second and fourth lines and substituted "something something something" for the first and third:

"Take up the White Man's burden--
No tawdry rule of kings,
But toil of serf and sweeper--
The tale of common things."

The back half of the same stanza is among the greatest statements ever made about the spirit of adventure and Man's need to challenge the unknown, bugger the cost:

"The ports ye shall not enter,
The roads ye shall not tread,
Go make them with your living,
And mark them with your dead."

All of this is of course from Rudyard Kipling's poem "The White Man's Burden."

Hey, that could make a pretty good science fiction novel about colonizing an alien world...

Part I: The Ports Ye Shall Not Enter
Part II: The Roads Ye Shall Not Tread
Part III: Go Make Them With Your Living
Part IV: And Mark Them With Your Dead

But I must table the idea before I give myself the chance to get too excited about it. All else must be suppressed in the name of Project TROIKA!

Scroll down to Monday to play Who Used To Own It? West Indies Edition!

His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI, Bishop of Rome, Pontifex Maximus, has arrived in the third most populous Catholic country in the world, the United States of America. Popelink. I would write more, but I always come off as derisive, dismissive, and disdainful toward non-Catholic Christianity, and though it is against my nature I am trying to embrace the message of interfaith tolerance and cooperation espoused by both Pope Benedict and the late John Paul II. And as I am so very fortunate to belong to the Holy Mother Church, I have a duty to observe faithfully the edicts and proscriptions of the Holy Father. I am a wretch of a Christian - among my many sins, my heart lusts for dread revenge - but I am laboring mightily to be a better man. I believe faithful obedience to the Church to be essential to the path.

Oh, what the heck, one for old time's sake: His Holiness the Pope is come! Tremble, ye Protestant curs, your manifold heresies are at an end. The Holy Inquisition is returned and there shall be a fearsome reckoning.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Simon & Garfunkel, "A Most Peculiar Man" from Sounds of Silence (T.L.A.M.)

Scroll down to play Who Used To Own It? West Indies Edition!

Project OSPREY: Comeuppance
A week and a day late is still better than never, oui? Firstly, my congratulations to the Kansas Jayhawks. Though my natural disposition is to be vehemently against any and all members of the thuggish Big XII Conference, in this case they were a useful means to an end. The Memphis Tigers are an astonishingly formidable basketball team. To oversimplify the case, they have only one identifiable weakness, a genuinely pathetic free throw shooting percentage. And here is the sole reason why Memphis's defeat was the end for which I embraced Kansas as the means: this weakness was pointed out to their head coach, John Calipari, in several public forums; this deficiency was acknowledged by Calipari; and then dismissed by that selfsame coach. In any level below that of professional athletics, the paramount job of any coach is to instruct, to teach through the medium of sport lessons that will make those in his charge better members of society. Calipari taught his kids that if you are perfect except for one glaring weakness, you should completely overlook that weakness and arrogantly believe that it could not possibly return to thwart your ambitions.

What was the misstep by Memphis that gave Kansas the slimmest of opportunities to force overtime and thus earn a second chance at victory? 1 of 6 free throw shooting in the closing seconds. Kansas got the ball with ten seconds left in the game. The Jayhawks drove down the court and scored an improbable three-point shot to send the game into overtime. Had Memphis made just one of those five missed free throws, Kansas would have been down four, an insurmountable deficit given the time remaining. One free throw and the Tigers would have won the Big Dance. No team is perfect. No team can correct all its flaws. But Memphis is the only team I can remember that looked at its one flaw, scoffed, and declared that they were simply too good to let some little thing like that stand between them and their rightful championship. And so, as they missed those free throws in the clutch, I laughed and laughed and laughed. Ah, what a glorious sight, chumps and their justly-earned defeat.

Project OSPREY: The Last Angry Bracket
31-25-7 for the whole of the tournament, thirty-one picks correct and thirty-two in various stages of incorrectness. Not bad. Not good, but not all that bad, really. Remind me sometime to tell you of the year I won the 1213 house pool, predicting not only both teams in the championship game, but also the final score within two points of the actual total. Heady days.

Project OSPREY: Farewell
I look back and I am ashamed that in the six years I lived in Ann Arbor, I never once attended a basketball game at Crisler Arena. All those opportunities that I let slip through my fingers. All the years, both in A² and since, that I let all that college basketball on T.V. pass by me unwatched. Life is far too short and far too fleeting to forgo these chances so cavalierly.

Well, enough of that, there's no reclaiming the past. There is only the future. Boy howdy, I cannot wait for next season!

Believe: Predators 5-3 Red Wings
Series: Detroit 2-1 Nashville. Still two down, fourteen to go.

Well, that sucked. I did not expect the Wings to sweep the series, but neither did I expect such a rapid collapse. Alas, such are the vagaries of sport. I am confident of vengeance and victory on Wednesday. Go Wings!

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Queen, "Killer Queen" from Greatest Hits I (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: "Dynamite with a laser beam."

Zinda Blake, Lady Blackhawk, a.k.a. Queen Killer Shark?

Who Used To Own It? West Indies Edition
Round Six Answers
1) Mauritania - France
2) Swaziland - Great Britain
3) Nigeria - Great Britain
4) Niger - France
5) Burkina Faso - France
6) Ivory Coast - France
7) Botswana - Great Britain

Round Six Scoring
The Watergirl 5/7 = 71%
Dr. Hee Haw 4/7 = 57%
The Guy 2/7 = 29%
K. Steeze 1/7 = 14%

I used Ivory Coast instead of the preferred Côte d'Ivoire out of concern that the proper French name might have given away the answer. The Guy reclaimed his title as Who Used To Own It?'s most prolific player, participating in five of a possible six rounds. (5/6 = 83%!)

West Indies Edition
Not all of the countries to be featured as queries are strictly in the "West Indies," but I prefer that somewhat fanciful name to any of the alternatives, among them "Latin America Edition" (which is inaccurate), "Caribbean Edition" (which is inaccurate), "Western Hemisphere Edition" (which is dull), or "The Americas Edition" (also dull). With one very special exception (listed below), dependencies - such as Bermuda and French Guiana - will not be featured, only former colonial possessions that have achieved independence from their suzerains. From the bottom of my heart, thank your for playing, have fun, and good luck!

1) Barbados

2) Suriname

3) Jamaica

4) Haiti

5) Dominican Republic

Tricky
6) Dominica

Extra Special Tricky (Downright Nefarious)
7) Puerto Rico

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Silly Wizards, "Lover's Heart" from Green Linnet Records: The Twentieth Anniversary Collection (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Silly Wizards is a terrible name for a band, but "Lover's Heart" is a beautiful song. Silly Wizards sounds like something Led Zeppelin-obsessed thirteen year-olds would come up with while staring at posters of unicorns prancing on rainbows in space.

The Explorers Club
No. LXXIII - Peter Cushing, O.B.E. (1913-1994), actor, icon, and recipient of the Pipe Smoker of the Year award for 1968.






And this is just an astoundingly delightful photograph:





Who Used To Own It?
Round Six answers and scoring posted tomorrow; so, get your answers in post haste or miss out on the end of Africa. Also, tomorrow, the beginning of the enigmatic next chapter of Who Used To Own It?

Believe: Red Wings 4-2 Predators
Two down, fourteen to go. Bog, that was fun to watch. I am so glad McCarty's back; I was thrilled when the lockout was over, but saddened to see him fall victim to the new salary cap, though I never questioned the cap's necessity. In any event, Mac's back and Nashville's in peril!

Go Wings!

The Rebel Black Dot Songs of the Day
The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, "Chasing the Sun Away" from A Jackknife to a Swan (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: "Chasing the Sun Away" is a beautiful and touching song, but as big a fan of The Bosstones as I am, it is always peculiar when they sing about love. Almost all rock 'n' roll is about love, but for these plaid-clad gentlemen of Boston it's just so out of character.

Samstag, 12 April
MxPx, "Punk Rawk Celebrity" from Secret Weapon (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Another tiny treatise on the degrading nature of fame and the destruction of artistic ambition by the pursuit of celebrity. Solid.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
The Forces of Evil, "Maybe I'm Wrong" from Friend or Foe? (T.L.A.M.)

The Victors: Notre Dame 5-4 Michigan (OT)
Defeat is spelled S-A-U-E-R.

Without Billy Sauer, we outscored the vile Fighting Irish 4-2, but the three extremely soft goals he gave up were too much ultimately to overcome. We had to fight all game to claw our way back, and Notre Dame never relented. I would not be so quick to throw the devil Sauer under the bus if the exact same thing had not happened in last year's N.C.A.A. tournament, when "The Sour Sieve" gave up seven goals in an 8-5 loss to North Dakota. Billy Sauer chokes in single-elimination tournament hockey, it's as simple as that. I hope one day he finds something he's good at, because big time goaltending certainly isn't it.

Meanwhile, my congratulations to Alistair on his boys' victory; I am not congratulating them, I am congratulating my friend.

On Saturday, the vile Fighting Irish will face the chumpish Eagles of Boston College, and one of those two bottomfeeders will skate away the N.C.A.A. champion. What a repugnant thought. I will of course be rooting for The Meteor, and hoping fervently for Billy Sauer to give up hockey at once and for all time.

Go Blue!

Believe: Red Wings 3-1 Predators
One down, fifteen to go.

The Victors: End of Regulation
Billy Sauer 3-0 Michigan + Michigan 4-1 Notre Dame = Notre Dame 4-4 Michigan. I have to say, I like our chances in overtime. Go Blue!

The Victors: 2nd Intermission
Notre Dame 3-2 Michigan. They scored three goals in the first period, we scored two in the second, and we have a fighting chance to win this game and advance to play for the N.C.A.A. national championship thanks to another five-letter word: H-O-G-A-N. The irredeemable sieve Billy Sauer will forever be cursed by the Maize and Blue faithful, the only question is if the condemnation will be in the same breath as John Navarre or Drew Henson.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Barenaked Ladies, "Everything Had Changed" from Barenaked Ladies Are Men (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary:

"On the path of life I wish you well.
Divergent journeys, we will meet again in Hell.
I kept my head down and moved on,
'Til every friend I'd known was gone.
Then, one day, I was not alone.
Everything had changed,
Everything was strange.
Everything had changed,
Everything was strange."

Mittwoch, 9 April
The Aquabats!, "The Ballad of Mr. Bonkers!" from The Aquabats! vs. The Floating Eye of Death! and Other Amazing Adventures, Vol. 1 (T.L.A.M.)

The Victors: 1st Intermission
Notre Dame 3-0 Michigan. Unbeknownst to most people, defeat is actually a five-letter word: S-A-U-E-R. Fielding Yost's ghost, how are we supposed to get back into this game when we'd be better off not even having a goaltender? Way to choke, Billy, again.

Don't be a loser, scroll down for Who Used To Own It? Round Six!

I am feeling particularly ineloquent at the moment, but shall address Memphis's glorious defeat and the valiant Wolverines' chances in the Frozen Four in good time. Um, patience is a virtue?

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
The Proclaimers, "Hate My Love" from Born Innocent (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Sweet mercy, I love a bitter love song, the blacker the better.

"I like the way you're standin'
In just your hi-i-i-igh-heeled shoes,
But I hate my love for you.
Yeah, I hate my love for you.
Well, I hate my love for you.
Yeah, I hate my love for you."

Who Used To Own It? - Round Six
Round Five Answers
1) Western Sahara - Spain
2) Lesotho - Great Britain
3) Eritrea - Italy
4) Burundi - Germany
5) Djibouti - France
6) Central African Republic - France
7) Liberia - Independent

Round Five Scoring
Skeeter 5/7 = 71%
Dr. Hee Haw 2/7 = 29%
K. Steeze 2/7 = 29%
The Guy 0/7 = 0%

I hereby christen Round Five "The Widowmaker." Sure, sure, the name fit better before Skeeter had to go and screw up the curve by being the only player to score over 30%, but The Guy's goose egg is still unprecedented in the brief but illustrious history of Who Used To Own It? And The Guy has ever been a good sport; so, he knows that I am not trying to make fun of his score when I say, quake in fear at the mere mention of... The Widowmaker!

Round Six
And here is the end of Africa, which I promise you will be easier than The Widowmaker. Good luck, I hope you've learned quite a bit over the past five rounds, and, as ever, and most sincerely, thanks for playing!

1) Mauritania

2) Swaziland

3) Nigeria

4) Niger

5) Burkina Faso

6) Ivory Coast

7) Botswana

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Aly & A.J., "Potential Breakup Song" via iTunes (T.L.A.M.)

Vive la France!
We're supposed to be better than this: shamelink. Leave the glorious dead in the peace for which they paid such a terrible cost.

The Explorers Club
No. LXXII - John Henry Patterson (1867-1947) and the man-eaters of Tsavo (1898).






There is no finer source of information than Col. Patterson's own account, The Man-eaters of Tsavo, first published in 1907. And despite their maneless appearance, the Tsavo man-eaters were lions, not lionesses.

Project OSPREY: The Last Angry Bracket
Though the final performance of my bracket it set in stone and I have no say in the game's final outcome, I have to say that I would really prefer Kansas to win. I respect the talent and determination of the kids from Memphis, I just don't want to see their coach's "free throws don't matter" attitude rewarded with a national championship.

And Bog was it fun watching those cheaters from U.C.L.A. and those scumbags from U.N.C. bite the dust on Saturday. Schadenfreude!

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the day
Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, "I Believe I Can Fly" from Take a Break (T.L.A.M.)

"A short skirt,
A Gimmes shirt,
A Jones Soda,
Ain't life grand?"

After a lazy morning, I spent the afternoon closely rereading The Umbrella Academy: Apocalypse Suite. And now I'm going to work on a Project TROIKA email for transmission to Steeze; so, Who Used To Own It? may have to wait until tomorrow. Round Six will all but exhaust Africa's supply of nation-states, but fear not, I have a clever scheme to keep the educational fun rolling beyond the shores of the mother continent. Just you wait.

The Umbrella Academy
Sir Reginald Hargreeves a.k.a. The Monocle (R.I.P.)
Dr. Pogo (R.I.P.)

00.01 - Luther Hargeeves a.k.a. Spaceboy
00.02 - Diego Hargreeves a.k.a. The Kraken
00.03 - Allison Hargreeves a.k.a. The Rumor
00.04 - Klaus Hargreeves a.k.a. The Séance
00.05
00.06 - Ben Hargreeves a.k.a. The Horror (R.I.P.)
00.07 - Vanya Hargreeves a.k.a. The White Violin

The Rebel Black Dot Songs of the Day
Student Rick, "Falling For You" from Soundtrack For a Generation (T.L.A.M.)

Freitag, 4 April
Elvis Costello, "(I Don't Want To Go To) Chelsea" from This Year's Model (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Love the song, hate the title. Slow Gherkin's "Pretty (In a Pretty Sort of Way)" is ridiculous and silly, like the song itself (and the band for that matter). But what in the high holy hell is the point of putting the vast majority of a straight song's title in parentheses? How is "(I Don't Want To Go To) Chelsea" better than "I Don't Want To Go To Chelsea"? Either shorten the title to "Chelsea," though of course the lyrics make plain why that might not work as the title, or bite the bullet and go for the whole phrase sans parentheses. Shape up, Costello!

"They call her Natasha when she looks like Elsie,
I don't want to go to Chelsea."

Love this song.

Who Used To Own It?
Act now, while there is still time! Round Five answers will be scored tomorrow! It's not yet too late to play America's fastest growing obscure quiz sensation!

The Stars My Destination
Space truck! Once again reinforcing the view that everything is better with the word "space." Truck? Myeh. Art Truck? Wicked! Space truck? Hyperlink-tacular! I am a tad disappointed that the A.T.V. is a disposable craft, though I do acknowledge the inherent difficulties of atmospheric reentry.

The Orion will be reusable, though! U-S-A! U-S-A!

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Tally Hall, "Banana Man" via iTunes (Saturday Night)

Commentary: Big week for nominations. Keep it up, you apes!

Under the Rhodesian Sun
Angels and saints, is it true? Is Zimbabwe really on the cusp of freedom? Electionlink. The late, unlamented Ian Smith was a cur and a brigand, but one of the keys to understanding the way of this woeful world is to grasp the seemingly contradictory notions that Ian Smith's ideas on minority rule were wrong and Robert Mugabe was utterly opposed to Ian Smith, but that does not mean Robert Mugabe's ideas of majority rule are right.

Meanwhile, the North Atlantic Treaty Organizations keeps marching eastward: N.A.T.O.link. Welcome, Croatia and Albania! Also, we owe a debt of gratitude to the Georgians: Georgialink. The Russians need to be made to understand that their neighboring nations are sovereign states, not satellites in their "near-abroad." N.A.T.O. membership is a powerful tool toward this end.

Zooey Deschanel Appreciation Day
I cannot wait to hear She & Him's Volume One.




The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
"Weird Al" Yankovic, "Weasel Stomping Day" from Straight Outta Lynwood ( ... )

Commentary: Previously selected as a B.T.W. South Song of the Day during the joyless nightmare of my year in Texile.

"That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain."
--Wm. Shakespeare of Stratford-upon-Avon

Scroll down for Who Used To Own It? Round Five!

I hope one and all had a mirthful April Fools Day. I would love to prank people on April Fools Day, but I simply don't have the knack. I am, however, extremely gullible, falling completely for everyone else's pranks; so, the day is far from wasted and always good for a ton of laughs.

The best pranks of which I am aware are Senator Clinton challenging Senator Obama to settle the Democratic nomination through a winner-take-all bowling match and Pardon the Interruption's report of the N.C.A.A. ordering the last sixteen seconds of Kansas's win over Davidson to be replayed. Good stuff all around, and who knew Hillary Clinton even had a sense of humor?

Project TROIKA
I checked two more books out of the library on my way more this afternoon, bringing the total to five. Or really, only four, since one is a replacement for another that proved unsatisfactory. In the words of the M.C. Bat Commander, commander of The Aquabats!, "There's so much to learn!"

The Victors
The valiant Wolverines are back in the Frozen Four after far too long an absence. And set for battle against the vile Fighting Irish, who did us the kind service of eliminated the dastardly Spartans in the round of eight. Bog, I hope these games will actually be on television; I had to read about Michigan's victories over Niagara (5-1) and Clarkson (2-0) on ye olde internet. It's uncivilized, I tells ya!

Go Blue!

Project OSPREY: The Last Angry Bracket
2-5-1 on Thursday and Friday, including the damnable loss of my last standing Final Four team, Villanova. Bloody Jayhawk scoundrels! 0-2-2 on Saturday and Sunday. I had both North Carolina and U.C.L.A. in the great eight (which I prefer over "elite eight"), where I predicted they'd fall to Tennessee and Duke, respectively. I was wrong about all four participants in the Kansas-Davidson (Villanova-Georgetown) and Memphis-Texas (Pitt-Stanford) games. A grim 2-7-3 for the second weekend, 29-18-1 through the first weekend, and a shabby 31-25-4 thus far. Three games left, all of which will register as ties. My overall record for the 2008 N.C.A.A. Men's Basketball Tournament will be 31-25-7, thirty-one correct and thirty-two to varying degrees of incorrectness. By Lucifer's beard!

On my bracket, which I clipped from the newspaper, my predictions are written in black ink, the actual results in blue. The key reads "MW" in black and "Reality" in blue. Reality bites.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Tally Hall, "Good Day" via iTunes (The Sardine)

Commentary: Though not standard practice for individually acquired songs, I must mention the completely awesome title of Tally Hall's album, Marvin's Marvelous Mechanical Museum! Wicked cool.

Play Who Used To Own It? Round Five! Learn the painful lesson of The Guy: He who hesitates is lost!

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Wally Dogger, "Never Let the Good Times End" from I Surrender, When Do I Start? (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary:

"I had a shitty day at my job,
I can't switch lanes, when will this traffic stop?
Well, I raise my drink to all of my friends,
Never let the good times end."

The Explorers Club
No. LXXI - The Great Rift Valley.








And as long as we're taking a closer look at Africa...

Who Used To Own It? - Round Five
Round Four Answers
1) Zimbabwe - Great Britain
2) Morocco - France
3) Togo - Germany
4) Rwanda - Germany
5) Ghana - Great Britain
6) The Congo - France
7) Benin - France

Round Four Scoring
Dr. Hee Haw 4/7 = 57%
Skeeter 3/7 = 43%
K. Steeze 1/7 = 14%

Round Four saw the first drop in the popularity of Who Used To Own It?, but I would be remiss if I did not welcome our newest player, and the first from the medical community, the prestigious Dr. Hee Haw. Welcome aboard, Doc! And I am all the more grateful to our returning contestants for their dogged loyalty. Skeeter has now tied The Guy as Who Used To Own It?'s most frequent participant. Woot!

And speaking of Skeeter, she remarked that Round Four was particularly difficult. One reason for this is almost certainly that I am quickly running the gamut of the African continent, and as I am subject to all the follies and foibles of any man those countries with which we are all most familiar were spotlighted first: Egypt, Algeria, and the D.R. Congo (formerly Zaire, formerly the Belgian Congo) were all queries way back in Round One. But at least from where I sit the difficulty of Who Used To Own It? is at least three-fifths of the fun. What most Americans know about European colonization of Africa in the decades before the unspeakable horror of the Great War wouldn't fill a complete sentence, much less five rounds of Who Used To Own It? You are among the elite, of that have no doubt.

Round Five
And with that, best of luck to you all in Round Five!

1) Western Sahara

2) Lesotho

3) Eritrea

4) Burundi

5) Djibouti

6) Central African Republic*

Tricky
7) Liberia

*This has naught to do with Who Used To Own It?, but in the wacky 1970s the C.A.R. briefly was known as the Central African Empire. Jumpin' Jack Pratt, history is more fun than a barrel of monkeys!

The Wild Sea
The Arctic Ocean and the southern seas of the Antarctic should not be traveled lightly; so, though I generally favor freedom of navigation, I think some measure of regulation and/or restriction by the appropriate maritime authorities would be a capital idea: sealink. The waters at the top and bottom of the world pose challenges and dangers distinct from the usual rigors of the sea. It's common sense, people.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Fountains of Wayne, "Hackensack" from Welcome Interstate Managers (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Saturday night, out of the clear blue sky, I saw a whole slew of Grand Blanc people, at least one of whom I had not seen in, literally, a decade. I had a grand time, but am now understandably pensive, dwelling wistfully upon those halcyon days of yesteryear. And what better song for such a humor than "Hackensack," I ask you.

"But I will wait for you,
As long as I need to.
And if you ever get back to Hackensack,
I'll be here for you."

The Stars My Destination
My friends, truly ours is an age of wonders: A.T.V.link. And I don't just mean the Jules Verne*. Scroll down to the bottom of the article and you can see a live track of either the A.T.V.'s or the I.S.S.'s position in orbit! Sweet fancy Moses!

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
They Might Be Giants, "Hall of Heads" from Apollo 18 (T.L.A.M.)

Freitag, 28 März
Slow Gherkin, "Pretty (In a Pretty Sort of Way)" from Run Screaming (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary:

"There's something odd about you,
What it is I couldn't say,
You're just pretty in a pretty sort of way."

If you could be one but not the other, which would you prefer, elegant or eloquent?

*The names of ships, both nautical and celestial, are italicized, e.g., the battleship Maine and the space shuttle Endeavour. The names of automobiles are left plain, e.g., the Batmobile or the General Lee. Unmanned pace probes are similarly unadorned, such as the Pathfinder probe and its auxiliary, the diminutive Sojourner rover. So, though Jules Verne is a fairly ornate name for what is rightly described as a "space truck," as the craft is unmanned proper protocol would seem to prefer Jules Verne to either "Jules Verne" or Jules Verne.

Like Rosencrantz and Guildenstern before him, Richard Widmark is dead. R.I.P. This leaves a particularly bitter taste in my mouth as in a random snippet of conversation given voice a scant three months ago, just shy of the New Year, I ranted to The Sardine, and here I must paraphrase myself, "And what's wrong is that today's kids don't even know who Richard Widmark is."

"Who?" she asked innocently.

Why Richard Widmark? I cannot say, but instantly upon the conclusion of the utterance this example struck me as bizarre; and thus I marked it specifically for later recall. Adding an almost unsettling twist, The Sardine called yesterday, the very day the world learned for the death. This was out of the blue as we had not spoken in a fortnight and a half. Spooky. She and Richard Widmark, God rest his soul, tethered forever in my recollection.

Those seeking more information about the late Mr. Widmark's wide-ranging, decades-spanning, and laudable body of work may wish to consult the filmography available courtesy of the Internet Movie Datebase: I.M.D.B.link.

Loathe though I am to quote Shelley, "Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!" seems apropos to the moment.

Project TROIKA
The endeavour took another step forward today. After work, I stopped by the library and checked out a book specifically and solely to better acquaint myself with a proposed facet of the novel's plot. My interests are many of varied, but without the impetus of the project this particular tome would never have achieved the priority evidenced by today's borrowing. This is but the first of many such volumes, mark my words. I shall name neither the book nor the general field of inquiry, as this might well sunder the veil of secrecy so entwined in the very fabric of Project TROIKA, but I wished to share my excitement at the very notion of aspiring writer-specific research.

Project TROIKA: Grow or die.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
John Linnell, "West Virginia" from State Songs (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: In honor of this evening's Xavier-West Virginia contest. Go to Hell, Bob Huggins.

Mittwoch, 26 März
Letters to Cleo, "Jennifer" from Wholesale Meats and Fish (T.L.A.M.)

Coming Attractions
Who Used To Own It? and Project OSPREY tomorrow.

Drummer Hodge
by Thomas Hardy

They throw in Drummer Hodge, to rest
Uncoffined – just as found:
His landmark is a kopje-crest
That breaks the veldt around;
And foreign constellations west
Each night above his mound.

Young Hodge the Drummer never knew –
Fresh from his Wessex home –
The meaning of the broad Karoo,
The Bush, the dusty loam,
And why uprose to nightly view
Strange stars amid the gloam.

Yet portion of that unknown plain
Will Hodge forever be;
His homely Northern breast and brain
Grow to some Southern tree,
And strange-eyed constellation reign
His stars eternally.


Every second line is meant to be indented, per Hardy's composition, but as of yet I know not how to accomplish this in Blogger.

Attention The Guy! Attention C.! Attention everybody! Round Four of Who Used To Own It? was posted on Friday. Scroll down to play!

The Explorers Club
No. LXX - The curious case of the H.M.A.S. Sydney and the German commerce raider Kormoran, from the fateful battle and mutual demise on 19 November 1941 to the very recent discovery of the hitherto lost wrecks on 16-17 March 2008.





The wreck of the Kormoran.

The wreck of the Sydney.



The mysterious disappearance of the Sydney and the Kormoran was already sitting in the queue for "The Explorers Club" when, to my astonishment, both wrecks were located just over a week ago. Wow! I was sorely tempted to be up-to-the-minute and run this story as last week's episode, but I was loathe to interrupt "Finland Imperiled," a subject near and dear to my heart. Still, by the standards of "The Explorers Club," this episode is breaking news.

Say a prayer for the brave souls who went to their eternal rest in the deep, so many years ago.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Real Can of Yams, "A Man, A Plan, A Canal, Panama" from Good or Suck! (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Lyrics by M. Wilson.

"All I know is digging all day,
Digging this canal for the U.S.A.
All day long I dig, dig, dig,
This thing we're digging is really big!
We all have yellow fever, we're sick,
But we keep digging, our boss is a dick.
For some big jobs we use dynamite.
It's awful loud, but it's quite a sight!

A man, a plan, a canal, Panama,
I miss my home and my dear old ma.
I like my job, but I miss my bed.
I think a spider laid eggs in my head!
A man, a plan, a canal, Panama,
'I sure am proud of you, son,' wrote my ma.

There's no place to go, but my money's all spent,
Then we get a visit from the president.
Teddy Roosevelt charged up San Juan Hill,
He was the man the Spaniards could not kill.
Now he tells us to dig this canal,
He always says 'Bully!' I wish he was my pal.
Golly, I'm so happy digging all day!
Digging this canal for the U.S.A.!

A man, a plan, a canal, Panama,
I miss my home and my dear old ma.
I like my job, but I miss my bed.
I think a spider laid eggs in my head!
A man, a plan, a canal, Panama,
'I sure am proud of you, son,' wrote my ma."

More joyful splendor from the Land of the Rising Sun: politelink. I really am so terribly fond of the Japanese. You wonderful, madcap lunatics!

The Stars My Destination
Gone a long, long time, the Endeavour is coming home: N.A.S.A. returnlink and B.B.C. returnlink. Godspeed, and welcome back.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I like my government like I like my religion: just that little bit crazy. Dog-monsterlink. And that, my friends, is why I am so fond of the Japanese, they are crazy in the best ways.

Project TROIKA
And that is also why I am so optimistic about Project TROIKA, because therein is to be found some wild and crazy stuff, in the finest traditions of literary adventure and B.T.Wackiness.

Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense
B.P.R.D.: Hollow Earth Nos. 1-3
B.P.R.D.: The Soul of Venice
B.P.R.D.: Dark Waters
B.P.R.D.: Night Train
B.P.R.D.: There's Something Under My Bed
B.P.R.D.: Plague of Frogs Nos. 1-5
B.P.R.D.: The Dead Nos. 1-5
B.P.R.D.: The Black Flame Nos. 1-6
B.P.R.D.: The Universal Machine Nos. 1-5
B.P.R.D.: Garden of Souls Nos. 1-5
B.P.R.D.: Killing Ground Nos. 1-5
B.P.R.D.: 1946 Nos. 1-3 (of 5)
B.P.R.D.: The Ectoplasmic Man
(B.P.R.D.: War on Frogs Nos. 1-4)

Abe Sapien: Drums of the Dead
Abe Sapien: The Drowning Nos. 1-2 (of 5)

Lobster Johnson: The Iron Prometheus Nos. 1-5

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
The Platters, "The Great Pretender" from The Very Best of The Platters (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: "My need is such, I pretend too much, I'm lonely but no one can tell."

Scroll down for the latest round of Who Used To Own It?, it's a gas!

The Christ is risen. Holy holy holy.

Project OSPREY: The Last Angry Bracket
4-4 on the first day of the second round, 6-1-1 on the second. The "tie" is Western Kentucky-San Diego, because I did not predict either to advance past the first round. I did not correctly pick the winner, so I should count it as a loss, no? Except, neither did I predict the eventual loser to best the eventual winner. So, I felt the "tie" was the best option for games in which I picked neither participant. The totals then are 10-5-1 in the second round, 19-13 in the first, and 29-18-1 through the first forty-eight games. Woot!

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Duvall, "Jesus Never Leaves Me" from Volume & Density (T.L.A.M.)

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Elvis Costello, "Living in Paradise" from This Year's Model (T.L.A.M.)

Project TROIKA
"Eureka!" is the declaration of a triumphant breakthrough, "By Lucifer's beard!" is the exclamation of frustration or stalemate. Both are apropos in this moment.

By Lucifer's beard, there is grim tumult ahead.

Eureka! Now I have the measure of the man!

Who Used To Own It? - Round Four
Round Three Answers
1) Uganda - Great Britain
2) Angola - Portugal
3) Madagascar - France
4) Sierra Leone - Great Britain
5) Tunisia - France
6) Tanzania - Germany
7) Zanzibar - Great Britain

Round Three Scoring
Skeeter 3/7 = 43%
The Guy 2/7 = 29%
C. 2/7 = 29%
K. Steeze 2/7 = 29%

C. went with the scattergun strategy, guessing Great Britain for the whole board, only to second guess herself and switch Sierra Leone, one of the three former British colonies in the round, to France. I think we can all smile at the humor inherent therein. The most contentious part of the round was, unsurprisingly, the "tricky" queries of Tanzania and Zanzibar. Skeeter's perplexed non-answer to No. 7 was correct, Zanzibar is a part of the modern nation-state of Tanzania (Zanzibar is the zan in Tanzania), but remember the Round Two example of Somalia, a composite of the colonies of Italian Somaliland and British Somaliland. The Kaiser's Germany controlled the continental landmass of today's Tanzania, while the islands of Zanzibar were part and parcel of the British Empire. In Who Used To Own It? we are always looking for the Scramble for Africa/pre-1914 suzerain.

And both Tanzania and Zanzibar were clearly labeled Tricky; so, some skulduggery should have been suspected.

Round Four
But first and foremost Who Used To Own It? is meant to be educational and entertaining. I am most grateful for the 33% increase in participation between Rounds Two and Three, and would be thrilled by a continued growth in popularity in Round Four. Have fun and good luck!

1) Zimbabwe

2) Morocco

3) Togo

4) Rwanda

5) Ghana

6) The Congo (Congo-Brazzaville, not D.R. Congo [Zaire])

7) Benin

No tricks, just honest historical curiosity.

Project OSPREY: The Last Angry Bracket
9-7 on the second day, 19-13 overall in the first round. Only one of my two twelve seed over five seed upsets materialized, but 'twas the more important of the pair: Villanova, my dark horse Final Four pick, 75-69 over Clemson*.

Go 'Nova!

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Less Than Jake, "She's Gonna Break Soon" from Anthem (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Though I've owned Anthem since its release in 2003, only recently did I get around to downloading and watching the video for "She's Gonna Break Soon," starring none other than Alexis Bledel. Wow, a Less Than Jake song about disenchantment, "it really comes as no surprise."

*The Villanova-Clemson contest did not conclude until nearly half past midnight; so, clearly, this post was not published at 11:59 P.M. But, I have long rejected the arbitrary nature of "midnight" as the beginning of a day. The dawn, or an hour more or less in line with the average sunrise, seems a far more sensible time to commence a new day. I must resort to the falsehood of "11:59 P.M." to resist the midnight tyranny. Hmmm, there might be a potential science fiction novel in that phrase, The Midnight Tyranny. I wonder....

Science!
Join me, won't you, as we sail the seas of Titan: oceanlink. Reference to murder be damned, this is the perfect opportunity to mention "all great Neptune's ocean"! Science and Shakespeare, two great tastes that taste great together.

Science!

Fantastically busy day, including The Guy and The Gal and Holy Thursday Mass through a veritable fog of incense, but don't for a minute imagine that stopped me from watching today's Gilmore Girls. (V.C.R.s rule!) And I am ever so sorry to once again delay Round Four of Who Used To Own It? Tomorrow, I promise.

Project OSPREY: The Last Angry Bracket
10-6 on the first day, and most of those I got wrong I had losing in the second round, anyway; I might yet prove to be in good shape. Saturday and Sunday I'm going to watch basketball until my eyes bleed.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Sixpence None the Richer, "Easy to Ignore" from Sixpence None the Richer (T.L.A.M.)

The Explorers Club
No. LXIX – Finland Imperiled, Part III of III: The Lapland War (1944-45).





The Winter War (1939-40) - Finland alone against Soviet Russia.
The Continuation War (1941-44) - Finland in alliance with Nazi Germany against Soviet Russia.
The Lapland War (1944-45) - Finland in alliance with Soviet Russia against Nazi Germany.

Peril almost beyond comprehension.





Project OSPREY
At the eleventh hour, I have completed my N.C.A.A. Tournament bracket in indelible black ink. The actual results of play shall be duly recorded on the same sheet in blue ink. Neither fudging nor reconsideration will be tolerated. The die is cast.

My methods are intensely unscientific. Sport appeals to the heart at least as much if not more than the mind and 'twould be a base offense to ignore the heart's counsel. I have Temple triumphing over Michigan State in the first round for two reasons: a) Schadenfreude. I hate M.S.U. (or M.S.C. if you look at the smokestack near Spartan Stadium) and I truly desire to see them fail. b) Bog only knows which squad of dastardly Spartans are going to show up. The dastardly Spartans who scored over one hundred points against Indiana or the dastardly Spartans who blew a ten-point lead over Wisconsin? My wager is on the latter, and I believe they shall be overthrown by the Owls (who I then have promptly losing in the second round to Pitt).

Also, I opened an A.I.M. chat with Skeeter with this query, "Which dark horse should I put in my Final Four?" She replied, "dunno... villanova?" Good enough for me. Go 'Nova! Yeah, that's right, I have fully one half of the No. 5 seeds falling to their twelfth seeded opponents. The Last Angry Bracket is not for the faint of heart. Tourney time!

The Last Angry Bracket
Final Four:
West - Duke
East - Tennessee
South - Pitt
Midwest - Villanova

Championship Game:
Pitt
Tennessee

2008 National Champions:
Tennessee

And this should not be misconstrued as what I want to happen, merely what I consider most likely to occur. Lousy Volunteers.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
MxPx, "Andrea" from Life in General (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: "Meeting you was just so unexpected. / I guess I was there to be rejected."

The Rebel Black Dot Songs of the Day
Bon Iver, "Skinny Love" via iTunes (Skeeter)

Commentary: "To be listened to," Skeeter instructed, "while walking through midtown Manhattan on a very gray morning surrounded by hollow-eyed financiers and the smell of Pakistani coffee carts."

Montag, 17 März
Dick Gaughan, "Song for Ireland" from Green Linnet Records: The Twentieth Anniversary Collection (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: My disdain for the manner in which St. Patrick's Day is desecrated and Irish culture is mocked here in the United States should not be mistaken as disdain for Ireland or the Irish blood in my veins. My disdain for the Republic of Ireland is based on the nation's shameful and cowardly neutrality.

Sonntag, 16 März
Less Than Jake, "Bad Scene and a Basement Show" from Borders and Boundaries (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: I have been to this show more times than I care to recount:

"Another band in a crowded basement,
With too much small talk
And lame inside jokes."

Plus, there's plenty in "Bad Scene and a Basement Show" for the Dark Bastard to enjoy in this brief season of his ascendancy.

Samstag, 15 März
The Aquabats!, "Anti-Matter!" from The Aquabats! vs. The Floating Eye of Death! and Other Amazing Adventures, Vol. 1 (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: The M.C. Bat Commander is a genius.

Excuses, Excuses
Excuses leave both the writer and the reader feeling dirty; better to say nothing at all. Especially as you all know I'll eventually post everything I'd scheduled for today and more besides. The Secret Base is a sickness and I wish never to be cured.

Science!
Speculation of a subsurface ocean on sundered Tethys rending the world to form the scar of the Ithaca Chasm: Chasmlink. Ooooo, neat! And you may vaguely remember speculation of a causal relationship between the Ithaca Chasm and the Odysseus crater in "The Explorers Club" No. IX.

Science!

"Just... don't change your mind before I get back, okay? Okay. Talk to you later."

I am perfectly willing to entertain the notion that my devotion to Gilmore Girls may be unhealthy, perhaps even the harbinger of a creeping madness.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Reel Big Fish, "Everybody's Drunk" from Monkeys For Nothin' and the Chimps For Free (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: We conclude our series of alcohol-themed R.B.D.S.O.T.D. as we began, with the Reel Big Fish. And from near the end of the song, a soliloquy that well reflects my own relationship to the bottle:

"Uh, actually, I'm not drunk. At all. No, I've got to drive all these people home. Have a good time. Assholes."

The Endurance
Henceforth, the honorific "Codename: PANDORA" shall nevermore be applied to The Sardine. Neglectful friendship is fine and dandy and shall persist, but all other avenues of thought are banished forthwith.

I shall for a time give the Dark Bastard free rein, and after a sufficient catharsis begin anew the search for the one true apple of my eye.

The Irrevocable Shackles of Matrimony: Matrimania - D.C.
In today's mail I received my invitation to my sister's impending nuptials. Huzzah! I am thrilled at the prospect of The Maine Man's elevation from mere boyfriend-cum-fiancé to Brother-in-L.A.W.

And now a pair of items pertaining to nomenclature. My sister, The L.A.W., and The Guy are getting married within a three-week interval, and as soon as their proximity was noted May 2008 was immediately christened "Matrimania." Yesterday, I floated the possibility of "Matri-May-nia," but upon further reflection I cannot stomach the idea. Matrimania conveys the perfect degree of hectic levity, Matri-May-nia is an abominable crime against the sacred mother tongue. One and all have my sincerest apologies.

And with two so delightfully proximal weddings, how ever to report coherently all I see, hear, and experience to The Secret Base? "Matrimania, Phase One" for The L.A.W. and "Phase Two" for The Guy and The Gal? With the reporting of each to surely require several posts (notice that I still have yet to conclude last Fall's highly controversial and multi-part "The Irrevocable Shackles of Matrimony: The Wedding Album"), "Matrimania, Phase One, Part II" seemed frankly ridiculous. And identifying each wedding by date seemed not exactly cold, but uncomfortably distant. So, for the nonce each shall be identified by the location of the festivities, "Matrimania - D.C." for The L.A.W.'s wedding in the shadow of the Capitol and "Matrimania - St. Louis" for The Guy's nuptials in the shadow of the Gateway Arch. (And if you have never seen the Arch with your own eyes, my Bog, it is more breathtaking than you can possibly imagine.)

Critiques, compliments, and condemnations are most welcome; we all have a stake in improving the quality of The Secret Base of the Rebel Black Dot Society.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Topol, et al., "To Life" from Fiddler on the Roof (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: L'Chaim!

Or, as we say inside B.T.W., "To high chlorine."

Vote For Kodos/The Stars My Destination
A word of warning to my left-leaning friends, Senator Obama would pay for many of his education initiatives by gutting N.A.S.A.'s budget, specifically by placing on essentially permanent hiatus Project Constellation, including the Orion spacecraft, the Altair lunar lander, and the new Ares I and Ares V rockets: Constellation! A vote for Obama is a vote against N.A.S.A., a vote against the Moon.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Spike Jones & His City Slickers, "Jones Polka" from The Spike Jones Anthology (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: A silly little polka about an immigrant laborer pissing away his meager wages on rounds for the whole bar.

"Give-ed me a cocktail
When I am low and droopy.
And then I'll dance a polka,
And make-ed lots of hoopy.
I work-ed in a coal mine,'
Things are pretty black.
But tonight the treat's on me,
I cash-ed my paycheck!

"Everybody have a drink,
Let's have fun together.
I got plenty money,
Go catch a doubleheader.
Bartender, please take care my friends,
Drinks for ladies and gents,
I got all kinds money,
Thirty-two dollars and forty-five cents!

Have-ed anything you like,
Even rum-and-Coke it.
Just give me glass plain whiskey rum,
And don't-ed make me choke it.
Feel up you glass with vishnic,
We gon' have-ed great big picnic,
Everything she's in the pink!
Everybody have a drink!"

The Stars My Destination
Manned spaceflight: B.B.C.link and N.A.S.A.link. Godspeed, Endeavour.

A robot in support of manned spaceflight: A.T.V.link. "Keep on truckin'!"

A robot alone in deep space: Cassinilink. Enceladus or bust!

Science!

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Tim Lyons, "Humours of Whiskey" from Green Linnet Records: The Twentieth Anniversary Collection (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: My favorite verse, but really the whole of "Humours of Whiskey" is bloody brilliant. Erin Go Bragh!

"While a child in me cradle,
Me nurse with the ladle
Was filling her mouth with a notion of 'Pep'
When a drop from the bottle
Fell into me throttle.
I capered and scrambled clear out of her lap.
On the floor I lay crawling
And screaming and bawling
'Til Father and Mother soon came to the fore.
All weeping and sighing,
Conceived I was dying,
But then found I was only a-crying for more."

Adding to the song's colossal stature, "Humours of Whiskey" is the first time I heard mention of Isambard Kingdom Brunel, subject of "The Explorers Club" No. XXXI, and a major, if convoluted, influence upon Project TROIKA.

"And what helped Mr. Brunel
To dig the Thames Tunnel?
Wasn't it poitín, me boys,
From old Inishowen?"

Poitínlink.

The Explorers Club
No. LXVIII - Finland Imperiled, Part II of III: The Continuation War (1941-44).





It is vitally important to note that while Finland did both coordinate and cooperate with the Nazi Wehrmacht and Finnish planes bore a blue swastika as their principal insignia, Finnish planes had been emblazoned with the ancient symbol of the swastika since Finland's civil war near the end of the Great War, long before the adoption and perversion of the swastika by National Socialism.

Project OSPREY
Sunday, 9 March
Purdue 72-58 Michigan - A couple weeks back, when the valiant Wolverines had won four of five Big Ten games, I looked at the last three contests and picked Penn State and Northwestern as possible victories and Purdue as a near sure defeat. So then we went out and lost to P.S.U. and N.U. Drat. I never expected us to be even competitive with Purdue; so, this loss, which came after we lead at halftime and played the vastly superior Boilermakers even for three fourths of the game, hurt far in excess of my preparedness. Cursed false hope!

Go Blue!

Saturday, 8 March
North Carolina 76-68 Duke - Those who live by perimeter shooting die by perimeter shooting, and Duke made some very dubious shooting choices. When I fill out my bracket next week, I'm going to pick North Carolina to persevere through the N.C.A.A. Tournament at least until the Final Four, which of course means they'll probably be the first No. 1 seed to lose to a No. 16 seed. Of at least, here's hoping.

The Rebel Black Dot Songs of the Day
Fountains of Wayne, "No Better Place" from Welcome Interstate Managers (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Though "No Better Place" could not possibly be mistaken as a song properly about alcohol, it does contain perhaps the greatest line ever written about the intersection of Man and booze, "And it may be the whiskey talking, but the whiskey says I miss you every day."

Sonntag, 9 März
Bob & Doug McKenzie, "The Beerhunter" from Great White North (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Not a song per se, but no alcohol-fueled frenzy would be complete without the participation of the titular stars of my very favorite cinematic interpretation of Hamlet, The Adventures of Bob & Doug McKenzie: Strange Brew. Take off, you hosers!

Samstag, 8 März
Less Than Jake, "Liquor Store" from Pezcore (T.L.A.M.)

The Endurance
This is foreshadowing. I leave it to better men than I to judge whether 'tis cryptic or no.

As a direct result of Daylight Saving Time, which is a fraud and a sham, by the way, I have been tired and cranky all day. "The Explorers Club" and "Project OSPREY" have thus been delayed until I am in a more conducive frame of mind, most likely tomorrow. Be brave and try to muddle through until then, me buckoes.

View the extra time as an opportunity to play Who Used To Own It? Round Three!

Who Used To Own It? - Round Three
Round Two Answers
1) Senegal - France
2) The Gambia - Great Britain
3) Namibia - Germany
4) Somalia - Italy*
5) Malawi - Great Britain
6) Gabon - France
7) Ethiopia - Independent**

Wow! Scores for Round Two of Who Used To Own It? were astronomically improved over Round One! Returning contestant The Guy scored three out of seven for 43% correct! Newcomers C. and Skeeter scored, respectively, three and a half out of seven for 50% and five out of seven for a staggering 71%!

*The failed/failing nation-state of Somalia is composed principally of the former Italian Somaliland, but a portion was the former colony British Somaliland; thus, both The Guy and Skeeter were credited with a correct answer for Italy, while C. got half a point for her answer, Great Britain.

**Ethiopia is one of only two contemporary nation-states that were not colonized by the European powers during the Scramble for Africa. The other will almost certainly be featured in a later round.

Round Three
As always, Who Used To Own It? depends upon the honor system; so, go ahead and do your best, and only afterward consult the appropriate reference materials to check your score. Participation was up 200% in Round Two compared to Round One, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that we can see a similar increase here in Round Three.

Bear in mind the example of Somalia-Italian Somaliland/British Somaliland. Modern nation-states correspond roughly, but not precisely, to pre-Great War colonial holdings. Because our purpose here is educational, not competitive, deliberately tricky questions will be plainly flagged as such. Good luck!

1) Uganda

2) Angola

3) Madagascar

4) Sierra Leone

5) Tunisia

Tricky
6) Tanzania

Tricky
7) Zanzibar

The Rebel Black Dot Songs of the Day
Chumbawamba, "Tubthumping" from Tubthumper (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Anarchists sure do love their hooch.

"He drinks the whiskey drink,
He drinks the vodka drink,
He drinks the lager drink,
He drinks the cider drink,
He sings the songs that remind him of the good times,
He sings the songs that remind him of the better times."

Donnerstag, 6 März
Great Big Sea, "Jakey's Gin" courtesy of The Watergirl (The Watergirl)

Commentary: Thanks, Katie!

Science!
"'Our Mars program is the envy of the world,' said Alan Stern, associate administrator of N.A.S.A.'s Science Mission Directorate." Marslink. And Dr. Stern believes that Pluto is a planet and that the I.A.U.'s definitions of "planet" and "dwarf planet" are scientific gibberish. I hold with Dr. Stern on both matters, Mars and Pluto.

Science!

Who Used To Own It? - Vive la France!
In Round One, I identified Great Britain as the former colonial suzerain of Guinea. I WAS WRONG. FRANCE WAS THE SUZERAIN OF GUINEA. My sincerest thanks are extended to Skeeter for catching the error, which was compounded in the scoring of Round One. As a result, The Guy's correct answers are reduced from four to three of twelve, or 25% However, The Guy got one more thing: he initially scored himself correctly, three of twelve, before I interceded with my idiotic declaration of "four of twelve for 33%." I am ashamed of myself for my brash arrogance.

Effective immediately, all rounds of Who Used To Own It? will be scored in consultation with reputable reference materials. No longer will I rely upon my clearly fallible memory. I am deeply sorry, one and all, and I hope this scandal will not deter anyone from partaking of the edifying fun of Who used To Own It?

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Denis Leary, "Traditional Irish Folk Song" from No Cure For Cancer (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary:

"We drink and we sing
And we drink and we sing,
Hey!
We drink and we drive
And we puke and we drink,
Hey!
We drink and we fight
And we bleed and we cry,
Hey!
We puke and we smoke
And we drink and we die,
Hey!"

Project OSPREY
Ohio State 80-77 Purdue (OT) - Drat! Well, it was a good curse while it lasted, and 1-5 is none too shabby, if I do say so myself. Still, I hate to see the hated Buckeyes win anything, even were they to stand against the legions of Perdition; so, I'll have to content myself with their technological incompetence. A twenty minute delay of the second half because they couldn't get the shot clocks up and running? Bwa ha ha ha ha! The ineptitude! The bumbling! Delicious!

I wish Purdue Pete had used his hammer to crack open the nut of Brutus the Buckeye's head. Buckeyes aren't even animate, you idiots!

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Dropkick Murphys, "The Dirty Glass" via iTunes (The Watergirl)

I detest the charlatans who run Haloscan. Arseholes.

The Explorers Club
No. LXVII - Finland Imperiled, Part I of III: The Winter War (1939-40)








Who Used To Own It? - Round Two
Round One Answers
1) Algeria - France
2) Libya - Italy
3) Egypt - Great Britain*
4) Kenya - Great Britain
5) The Sudan - Great Britain
6) D.R. Congo (Zaire) - Belgium*
7) Guinea - Great Britain France
8) Equatorial Guinea - Spain
9) Guinea-Bissau - Portugal
10) Cameroon - Germany
11) Mozambique - Portugal
12) Zambia - Great Britain

Only one among you had the courage to test his knowledge, scoring a laudable 33% with four of twelve correct answers. For his audacity, The Guy shall receive a prize, while the rest of you rabble will hold cheap your manhood (even the girls) and hang your heads in shame. But lo, redemption is at hand, for I give unto you Who Used To Own It?... Round Two!

Round Two
A clarification: following the Great War, Germany was stripped of her overseas possessions. We are looking for the original, pre-Versailles colonial suzerain. Also, the number of queries has been reduced in a bid to lessen the intimidation factor. Please don't be too embarrassed to play. This is an educational diversion, a mere whimsical trifle! Play, participate, and remember that in the sage words of Ethan "Bubblegum" Tate, the Globetrotter commander, "Nothing is at stake and there are no consequences." Good luck!

1) Senegal

2) The Gambia

3) Namibia

4) Somalia

5) Malawi

6) Gabon

Tricky
7) Ethiopia

*Geopolitical complexity is not an invention of the 21st Century. The Khedive of Egypt was a unique proposition, even before the British Empire wrested is away from the Ottoman Empire. Also, for over two decades what we know as the Democratic Republic of Congo was the private property of King Leopold II, not a colony of the Kingdom of Belgium.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Real Can of Yams, "Let's Get Drunk and Clean the Room" from Good or Suck! (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Good or Suck! is R.C.Y.'s first, but I guarantee you not last, studio album. Available only in the most exclusive of record shops, the kind of places about which if you have to ask you'll never know.

All the pretty snow is melting. Lousy Smarch weather. On the other hand...

Science!
Holy balls! Living in the future is so cool: Lifecarlink!

Also, to be unscientific for a moment, I love that when the Brits talk about cars, about cool, they kick metric to the curb and go with what feels right, English units. Love live the mile!

Alright, back to scientific rationalism, which does recognize the value of metric standardization. Science!

Project OSPREY
Michigan State 103-74 Indiana - Sweet fancy Moses, how on Earth is this the same team of dastardly Spartans I saw struggle so futilely against Wisconsin last Thursday? Alas and alack, there must have been much merry-making in Evil Lansing this evening. Never send Hoosiers to do a man's job.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, "You & Me & the Bottle Makes 3" (live) via iTunes (Ki-El)

Commentary: He picked the Song of the Day and his dastardly Spartans scored two games' worth of points in one afternoon? A banner day for Ki-El. My congratulations to you, buddy, though I hope your compatriots all choke on fish bones.

I hope you all have a grand Leap Day. Mine was largely squandered, but I feel the difference was in some measure made up by today's manifold glories.

Project OSPREY
Georgetown 70-68 Marquette (OT) - Marquette had every opportunity in the world to win this game, but every time they had a chance to put the Hoyas away they chose that exact moment to begin a minutes-long scoring drought. And if you let a team as talented as Georgetown stick around, they'll make good the comeback. Drat and double drat! Killer instinct, kids, its importance in sports can scarcely be overstated.

Minnesota 71-57 Ohio State - The hated Buckeyes are now a perfect 0-5* in games I have watched and their hopes of making the N.C.A.A. tournament are fading fast. Hey, neat, I'm a bad luck charm! The following quotation, ladies and gentlemen, from the fertile mind of the late Eric Hoffer, explains succinctly the entire State of Ohio: "Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life."

*Indiana, Wisconsin, Michigan, Indiana again, and now Minnesota. Bwa ha ha ha ha!

Also, you can tell that I've been watching a lot of, mayhap too much, college basketball since The Barn's raised floor no longer strikes me as odd. 'Tis a lovely madness.

The Rebel Black Dot Songs of the Day
Spike Jones & His City Slickers, "Cocktails for Two" from The Spike Jones Anthology (T.L.A.M.)

Freitag, 29 Februar
Real Can of Yams, "Let's Get Drunk and Clean the Room" (live) performed and recorded on 21 Juni 2002 (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: That does it for the live recordings of "Let's Get Drunk and Clean the Room." Now brace yourselves for the album version! (Not tomorrow, but, you know, soon... ish.)

Coming Attractions
A three-part epic in "The Explorers Club" and the second round of America's favorite obscure and obtuse quiz sensation, Who Used To Own It?