Zooey Deschanel Appreciation Day
Last night, before I went to bed I watched Big Trouble. Not only is it a hilarious movie, but I shall forever be indebted to it. For you see, before Big Trouble, I had never heard of Ms. Deschanel. To Dave Barry, who wrote the book, and Barry Sonnenfeld, who directed the movie: thanks, guys, I owe you (and please forgive the pun) big time.

Zooey Deschanel as I first saw her, seen here with Ben Foster. (I like this promo shot better than any of the screen captures.)

Vote For Kodos
Dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit, why couldn't Deanie have waited until he had secured the nomination to meltdown? Dammit. Oh, well. You know what I don't get? Open primaries. I mean, we have them here in Michigan, but I don't understand them. Yes, they open up the primaries to more people and more perspectives, but doesn't that defeat the purpose of the primary process? Don't we have general elections to see what everybody thinks? Aren't primaries supposed to be about each candidate whoring himself out to his party's fringe? Republicans run right and scare the crap out of everybody, Democrats run left and make Mike Dukakis look conservative. That's the point, isn't it? But, hey, what do I know? I'll tell you what I know, yesterday's Wisconsin primary was open and Sen. Edwards beat the living snot out of Sen. Kerry among Republican and independent voters, exactly the kind of voters Kerry will need to woo in the general election. Sweet.

Babar, King of the Elephants
President George W. Bush of Texas

Donkey Punch
Senator John Kerry of Massachusetts
Senator John Edwards of North Carolina
Representative Dennis Kucinich of Ohio
"The Reverend" Al Sharpton of New York
the quitters*
fmr. Governor Howard Dean of Vermont
fmr. General Wesley Clark of Arkansas
Senator Joseph Lieberman of Connecticut
Representative Richard Gephardt of Missouri
fmr. Senator Carol Mosely Braun of Illinois
Senator Bob Graham of Florida

*For the first time, the quitters now outnumber those still in the race.