Here's an idea: Robert Baer for Director of Central Intelligence.

What the hell should I get my dad for Fathers Day? And why is there a Mothers Day and a Fathers Day, but no Sons Day or Daughters Day? I get my dad presents three times a year: his birthday, Christmas, and Fathers Day; I only get gifts from him twice: my birthday and Christmas. And don't give me that, "Your parents raised you, they've given you the gift of a proper upbringing" crap. I had no say in the matter of being born. They decided to have kids; so, they bear all the responsibility for the consequences thus incurred. I suppose I could go out to the stores and see what strikes my fancy...

Crap
Rod Stewart

H-A-D
Have an inverted day.