Zooey Deschanel Appreciation Day
It's Wednesday again, and that means it's time to appreciate possibly America's finest young female actor, Zooey Deschanel. (Yes, female actor, not actress. I don't have a problem with the word actress, but I don't use it as part of a broader strategy. I loathe the quasi-fictional word comedienne, sometimes used to describe a female comedian. This is a horrible word. So, in an effort to eliminate comedienne, I have discarded actor and actress and describe actors of both sexes simply as actors.) We defer further contemplation of Ms. Deschanel to our next segment...

Hot and Attractive Are Not the Same Thing
Before he left for the Seagle Music Colony, the Mountain of Love and I were discussing this. Being hot is not the same as being attractive. And excellent example of this, and the individual who sparked the conversation, is Jessica Simpson. Jessica Simpson is undeniably hot - she is pretty, has nice (though probably surgically-enhanced) boobies, and a fabulous figure - but not at all attractive. Her voice makes me want to hurt small animals, and that's not even considering the unbelievably moronic things she says. The purely hypothetical prospect of spending an evening on the town with Jessica Simpson makes my skin crawl.

On the other end of the spectrum, we have Zooey Deschanel. She is fairly hot - whenever I see her onscreen, I am struck by the fact that her face is simultaneously very pretty and pretty goofy; she has a shapely figure, but by the standards of Hollywood starlets, nothing to write home about - but extraordinarily attractive. Her voice projects both intelligence and cynicism, and her eyes are on fire. The purely hypothetical prospect of spending an evening on the town with Zooey Deschanel is intimidating, because I'd probably trip over myself the entire night.

To review, Jessica Simpson may be hotter, but Zooey Deschanel is far more attractive. (The picture of Ms. Simpson and her husband also appeared in The Newsletter with the caption, "Hmmm, maybe heterosexuals shouldn't be allowed to get married either.")

Crap
Bjork

H-A-D
Have an assimilated day.