Holy balls, I just received a new short story from Orin Kennedy, author of "The Noah Serum," the centerpiece of the first two "Summer Reading" issues of The Newsletter! Everything's coming up Milhouse!

Zooey Deschanel Appreciation Day
Here's the problem: how in the hell do you pronounce Ms. Deschanel's first name? Logic would suggest "Zoo-ee." My reading of Franny and Zooey leads me to believe "Zoo-ee." An interview I read said "Zoo-ee." But now - now! - I have encountered a couple articles which say Zoe. Damn it! Make no mistake, I am a big fan of the name Zoe, I love the name Zoe, I just want to know if it's Zoe or "Zoo-ee"! Zoeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyy!

Yeah, I watched both parts of "The Real Folk Blues." By Lucifer's beard, why did Bebop have to end!

I love my country, I just hate most of the people in it. I think my deep contempt for the Congress is grounded in the sorry fact that it is such a devastatingly accurate reflection of the American people. I would fear for the Republic, except we have managed thus far to succeed inspite of ourselves, and I see no reason why this inexplicable and fortuitous trend should change.

Vote For Kodos
Watching the service for President Reagan in the Rotunda (my word, the Capitol is beautiful), I got to thinking and asked my mom how she could have possibly not voted for Reagan in '84. '80 I can understand (at least she had the good sense to vote for Anderson instead of Jimmy again), but who voted for Fritz Mondale? He's Fritz Mondale, such a loser that he was second-banana to Jimmy! Anywho, so I got to thinking about win-loss records, and here they are, oldest to youngest:

Dad 5-3
1972 Nixon - W
1976 Ford - L
1980 Reagan - W
1984 Reagan - W
1988 Bush - W
1992 Bush - L
1996 Dole - L
2000 Bush - W

Mom 3-5
1972 McGovern - L
1976 Jimmy - W
1980 Anderson - L
1984 Mondale - L
1988 Dukakis - L
1992 Clinton - W
1996 Clinton - W
2000 Gore - L

The LAW 1-1
1996 Clinton - W
2000 Gore - L

The Last Angry Man 1-0
2000 Bush - W

the Mountain of Love 1-0
2000 Bush - W

Crap
The Grateful Dead

H-A-D
Have a plaid day.