The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Lord's Day

Tom Lehrer, "The Vatican Rag" (from That Was the Year That Was) via iTunes (The Last Angry Man)

Commentary: In this as in many other instances I am depending on the Lord (A) knowing what is in my heart & (B) having a sense of humor. I am confident that He has a sense of humor; witness the platypus, a duck-billed, egg-laying, venomous mammal.

"Another big news story of the year concerned the ecumenical council in Rome, known as Vatican II. Among the things they did in an attempt to make the Church more commercial was to introduce the vernacular into portions of the Mass to replace Latin & to widen somewhat the range of music permissible in the liturgy. But I feel, if they really want to sell the product in this secular age, what they ought to do is to redo some of the liturgical music in popular song form. I have a modest example here: it's called, 'The Vatican Rag.'

"First you get down on your knees,
Fiddle with your rosaries,
Bow your head with great respect,
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!

"Do whatever steps you want if
You have cleared them with the pontiff,
Everyone say his own kyrie eleison,
Doing the Vatican Rag!

"Get in line in that processional,
Step into that small confessional,
There the guy who's got religion'll
Tell you if your sin's original.

"If it is, try playing it safer:
Drink the wine & chew the wafer.
Two, four, six, eight,
Time to transsubstantiate!

"So get down upon your knees,
Fiddle with your rosaries,
Bow your head with great respect,
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!

"Make a cross on your abdomen,
When in Rome do like a Roman,
Ave Maria, gee, it's good to see ya!
Getting ecstatic again,
Sorta dramatic again,
Doing the Vatican Rag!"