The Firm, "Star Trekkin'" from Dr. Demento's Hits from Outer Space (The Last Angry Trekkie)
Captain's Log: Last night's premiere of Star Trek: Discovery confirmed my worst fears. There was zero evidence that the show is set in the Prime Timeline, as has been promised, with the culture, history, & appearance of the so-called Klingons being completely changed, so that the "Klingons" are unrecognizable, utterly incompatible with their Prime appearances in the twenty-second (Star Trek: Enterprise), twenty-third (Star Trek the original series, Star Trek: The Motion Picture, Star Trek III: The Search for Spock, Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, Star Trek V: The Final Frontier, & Star Trek IV: The Undiscovered Country), or twenty-fourth centuries (Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Star Trek: Voyager, & Star Trek Generations); & with the production design & series aesthetic nakedly aping that of the Kelvin Timeline (J.J. Abrams's Star Trek, Star Trek into Darkness, & Star Trek Beyond).
My brother & I only saw the first episode, "The Vulcan Hello," on C.B.S. broadcast T.V. We were unable to watch the second episode, "Battle of the Binary Stars," on the risibly named C.B.S. All Access, as despite his paid subscription to the proprietary streaming service we were four times kicked out of the episode after only two or three minutes of playback. In the same period, we were able to successfully watch an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation on Netflix, confirming that the problem was with C.B.S. All Access, which really should be named C.B.S. No Access At All, not with his internet connection or Roku. I'll be a monkey's uncle before I ever again watch an episode of Discovery, which isn't even remotely Star Trek, no, not at all.
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