Skammentary: None of these pretty cynical "girlfriend" R.B.D.S.O.T.D. are meant to lampoon Miss Mozart or my status as her boyfriend. But regular readers of The Secret Base & partakers in SKApril know that romance rarely works out in third-wave ska songs so when I rather unexpectedly acquire a girlfriend my mind immediately goes to all the ways our romance could go horribly, horribly awry. A variation on the question asked in the motion picture High Fidelity: Am I cynical about romance because I listen to ska-punk or do I listen to ska-punk because I'm cynical about romance?
"Well, I know that actions speak louder than words
And thinking is bad, but doing's much worse,
Oh, oh, but I'm so perverse.
"Please don't tell her I have a girlfriend,
Please don't tell her I have a girlfriend,
'Cause it's so hard, can't even pretend
That I only want to be her friend.
"Well, I know I can keep a secret,
I know I can keep a secret,
Can you keep my secret?…"