Sad But True
I won't be referring to my father as Darth Vater any longer; it's insulting to Darth Vader. No, from now on he'll be good ol' Meine Vater, fitting his present political persuasion. Today, he argued stenuously for the position that Michael Moore should be jailed on charges of treason. TREASON. Why, you ask? Because his most recent film, Fahrenheit 9/11 contains many factual inaccuracies, and, according to Meine vater, those inaccuracies constitute providing aid and comfort to the enemy in a time of war. Apparently, it was fine for extreme right-wing partisans to imply that Vince Foster's suicide in the early Clinton Adminstration was actually a murder, carried out on President Clinton's orders, because the country wasn't at war then. But because we're at war now, Moore ought to be locked away as a traitor. Oh. My. Bog.

I am a firm believer that we are, in fact at war, and that the War on Terror is a necessary a conflict as the Cold War. But, like the Cold War, the War on Terror will likely go on for decades. Is outrageous speech like Michael Moore's then to be considered treason for decades? Would it have been fine for him to produce a film (Fahrenheit 9/11 is not a documentary) as riddled with errors as Fahrenheit 9/11 before 9/11? If Michael Moore's speech is treasonous, won't a lot of conservatives have to be locked away the next time we have a liberal administration? Not surprisingly, he couldn't answer any of these questions. My father's always been an asshole, and I can accept that; after all, I'm an asshole, too. But I cannot remain silent as he expouses pure fascism. It is the duty of every patriotic American to despise fascism and fascists, and I hate my father for forgetting that.

An Elegant Weapon for a More Civilized Age
A New Hope
Obi-Wan Kenobi vs. Darth Vader = Darth Vader

The Empire Strikes Back
Luke Skywalker vs. Darth Vader / Darth Vader

Return of the Jedi
Luke Skywalker vs. Darth Vader / Luke Skywalker
Darth Vader vs. Darth Sidious = Darth Vader

The Phantom Menace
Qui-Gon Jinn & Obi-Wan Kenobi vs. Darth Maul / Darth Maul
Qui-Gon Jinn vs. Darth Maul = Darth Maul
Obi-Wan Kenobi vs. Darth Maul = Obi-Wan Kenobi

Attack of the Clones
Anakin Skywalker vs. Darth Tyrannus / Darth Tyrannus
Obi-Wan Kenobi vs. Darth Tyrannus / Darth Tyrannus
Yoda vs. Darth Tyrannus / Yoda

Revenge of the Sith
Obi-Wan Kenobi vs. Anakin Skywalker / Obi-Wan Kenobi
Anakin Skywalker vs. Darth Tyrannus? projected winner: Anakin Skywalker
Mace Windu vs. Anakin Skywalker? projected winner: Anakin Skywalker
others?