Suicide Watch
It seems like every other other motherfucker's blog displays Socrates's most famous quote: "An unexamined life is one not worth living." I say, fuck Socrates. The city fathers of Athens came to Socrates and told him to commit suicide. What did he do? He committed suicide. Socrates, the great and noble thinker who questioned everything; but when the chips were down, he clicked his heels like a good little lackey and did as he was instructed. Chump. According to Socrates, we should all go gently into that good night.

Remember, kiddies, out of courtesy please have your Christmas lists ready by October 25. That way, your loved ones have two full months in which to shop for you. Christmas! Woot!