The Victors

Saturday, 26 September 2015
Michigan 31-0 B.Y.U. (№ 22)
3-1, B1G 0-0

Oh, now I understand why Jake Rudock is the valiant Wolverines' starting quarterback! In the first half of the valiant Wolverines' dominating victory over the epithetless Cougars of Brigham Young University (all but universally known as B.Y.U.), Rudock showed improvement that had been sorely lacking over the first three games of the season, most especially in the victory over U.N.L.V. In the second half, Rudock played more like the Rudock we've come to known & loathe, but by that point the victory had been secured. I am concerned by Michigan's inability to score in the second half—all thirty-one points against B.Y.U. were scored in the opening thirty minutes—but one could argue that by the second half both U.N.L.V. & B.Y.U. had been beaten, so the only gentlemanly thing to do was stop scoring. I would agree with that sentiment, if I was convinced that it what happened, but I am not so convinced. Nonetheless, with Rudock finally acting less like an albatross, the offense proved devastatingly efficient, scoring on all five of the Maize & Blue's first five drives, netting four touchdowns & a field goal.

The defense was intimidatingly stout. The only criticism that can be leveled is that all of the epithetless Cougars' drives ended in punts, meaning the Michigan "D" forced no turnovers, but that's the weak sauce of criticisms, fueled by insecurity & meanness. In the last three games, the valiant Wolverines' defense has only surrendered fourteen points, less than a touchdown a game. Over the four games of the non-conference schedules, the defense has given up only thirty-eight points (an average of nine & a half points per game, less than a touchdown [with the point after] & a field goal). Arguably, only thirty-one points should count against the defense (seven & three quarters points per game, less than a touchdown & a two-point conversion or two field goals & a safety), because the margin of defeat in the loss to Utah (ranked № 10 in this week's Associated Press poll) was an interception run back for a touchdown, a play for which the defense wasn't even on the field. Even if Oregon State, U.N.L.V., & B.Y.U. are to be counted as lesser competition—which is unfair to them given that B.Y.U. entered the game ranked in the Top 25, having lost to Top 10 U.C.L.A. by a single point, & unfair to us, given that almost our entire roster was recruited & coached the the bumbling Brady Hoke—holding three opponents to a combined fourteen points is impressive by any measure. The defense is looking smothering. Let us hope that level of performance translates into league play.

Best of all, we Michigan Wolverines are beginning to believe again. Our rivals call us conceited, but that's only because they fundamentally fail to appreciate how unique, special, & inherently & altogether superior to them the University of Michigan is. There is meant to be a swagger about Michigan football. This is not an arrogance born of presumed privilege, but a hard-won confidence rooted in a tradition of excellence that stretches back to Fielding Yost's point-a-minute teams; Tom Harmon, "Old 98;" Fritz Crisler's "Mad Magicians;" Bo Schembechler's resurrection of our greatness; Desmond Howard & the Heisman Trophy pose; Lloyd Carr & the National Championship that always eluded Schembechler; Charles Woodson & the impossible interception; Tom Brady, the quadruple Super Bowl winner who was drafted in the sixth round by those cretins in the No Fun League; & so many more players, coaches, & memories. Rich Rodriguez was doomed not only because he completely neglected the defense & the special teams, but because he failed utterly to understand Michigan; he thought this was just another school, just another job. Brady Hoke was a Michigan Man in his love for the Maize & Blue, but a tragic hero out of his depth, possessed of neither the ability nor the force of will required to succeed in his dream job. Jim Harbaugh is a Michigan Man in the classic mold, a victor valiant, a conqu'ring hero, one of the leaders & best. The legendary Bo Schembechler didn't preach easy victory, he was a Churchillian figure who promised victory to those willing to work for it harder & longer than their opponents. "Those who stay will be champions." This is our mantra. We are impatient for success after seven seasons in which we didn't ever look like Michigan, seven years in which we became estranged from ourselves, but we understand that these things take time. We are beginning to recover the old mindset, the notion that any season in which the valiant Wolverines do not win the Big Ten title is a disappointment, a failure to fulfill our promises to ourselves, our predecessors, & our posterity. We are beginning to believe again. We have seen the future & it is clad in khakis & throwing a fiery temper tantrum on the sidelines. This is Michigan.

Forgive me for being a basketcase, lurching from the elation of the Oregon State victory to the frustration of the U.N.L.V. victory to this new/renewed confidence after the B.Y.U. shutout. The last decade of Michigan football has been very trying. As if our own travails weren't bad enough, the hated Buckeyes of THE ^{Ohio State University} sit atop the heap, & even the dastardly Spartans of the Michigan Agricultural College (or whatever they are calling M.A.C./M.S.C./M.S.U. this week) are entertaining delusions of grandeur. The world needs to be set aright. In this week's A.P. poll, the valiant Wolverines are ranked № 22. I want to say this is too soon, but I can't. I believe Michigan belongs in the Top 25. Jim Harbaugh, the unicorn of our impossible dreams, has made me believe again. The world is being set aright.

Next: The Big Ten opener, on the road against the terrible Terrapins of Maryland. Under Coach Harbaugh, the valiant Wolverines have yet to play a B1G opponent—heck, they've yet to play an Eastern Time Zone opponent—& have yet to win a road game: all three Harbaugh-era victories have been within the friendly confines of Michigan Stadium. Said Coach Harbaugh of the challenge ahead, "We're going to need a good week of preparation, good week of practice. This (Maryland) is a very good football team."

Go Blue!