Wednesday, September 22, 2004

"Doomsday device, you say? Now the ball's in Farnsworth's court! I suppose I can part with one and still be feared."

Ye Olde Melting Pot
Did anyone else see the footage of Senator Ben Nighthorse Campbell (R, Colorado) on the floor of the Senate in the full ceremonial garb of his tribe on the floor of the Senate? I thought it was fantastic. It's not that I'm an huge fan of Indian culture; personally, I believe the reservation system should be phased out of existence. My blood is English, by religion I am a Roman Catholic. One of my best friends is half-Korean/half-European mutt, and a Lutheran. I have friends who are atheists, Hindus, and Jews. Friends who are German, Slavic, Italian. Because it doesn't matter where our ancestors came from, we are all Americans! The reservation system serves no purpose but to keep Indians separate from the rest of American culture, and as a side effect it keeps Indians disproportionately poor. In any event, I was glad to see Sen. Campbell in the clothing of his grandfather, because it served as a powerful reminder to our xenophobic European friends that the United States is the multicultural world they only pretend to be. I am tired of ignorant European college kids calling America a racist nation, when the only diversity their lily-white asses have ever seen is their equally lily-white friend in the corner with pretentions of being a neo-Trotskyist.

I'm touchy today because I was having a conversation with a friend about the tendency of many minorities to self-segregate into homogenous groupings (she's ethnically Chinese, her parents are from Taiwan, and she hates that Chinese kids all band together), when this pissant kid, as lily-white as me, breezes by and sneers, "Easy for you to say, you're white." In a perfect world, it would be acceptable for me to have beaten him to within an inch of his life for not-so-subtly implying that I am a racist. Alas, ours is not a perfect world and as soon as he sneered his little remark, he disappeared into a classroom.

Being The Last Angry Man
I pay homage to spite, and embrace it as one of the central pillars of the code by which I live my life. As such, I brook no dissent, and a gesture with no practical value I have no tolerance for those who would insult Star Wars. Thought I enjoy the NPR show Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!, several years ago the host, Peter Sagal, remarked that he felt George Lucas owed him a refund for the price of his ticket to Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace, and if I ever meet Mr. Sagal, I shall make a point of conspicuously refusing to shake his hand. I very much enjoy Invincible, a comic book written by Robert Kirkman and drawn by Ryan Ottley. However, in the latest issue, No. 15, the main character, Invincible, called The Phantom Menace "crappy." I am being entirely honest when I tell you that I am now seriously considering dropping Invincible from my pulls, i.e. not reading it anymore. NPR is free, except for my tax dollars I don't pay a dime to support Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! But each issue of Invincible costs two bucks, and I'm really not sure I want my Washingtons going to support a Star Wars hater. There is a far better than even chance I have read my last issue of Invincible. Spite!

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