Thursday, September 30, 2004

Spite Strikes Again
I am declaring the James Cameron prohibition against Peter Jackson: I will never see another new Peter Jackson movie. Ever. That means, I can watch movies he has directed up to the current day, but I will not see any movie released from now 'til Kingdom Come. As a further measure, I will never watch any of the three The Lord of the Rings films, either. Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye. I declare this prohibition because Peter Jackson is New Zealand's most famous son, because he loves New Zealand, and because I despise New Zealand. In 1985, New Zealand passed a law prohibiting nuclear weapons anywhere in New Zealand, and barring nuclear-powered ships from the islands' ports. This means that large percentages of the United States Navy's vessels are not welcome in New Zealand. No one dictates to the United States those ships we can and cannot have in our navy, you Kiwi sons of bitches. Furthermore, I am imposing upon NZ the same travel restrictions as on Spain, and I will do everything I can to avoid doing business with New Zealand firms or in any way contributing to New Zealand's economy.

Were it withing my power, I would reduce New Zealand to ashes, and leave her people to starvation and disease. I hate New Zealand, and I will never see another Peter Jackson movie.

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