narwhal (Monodon monoceros)

NARWHAL DAY!
Happy Narwhal Day! Though the heat of the day marks this as truly the beginning of summer and seems very far removed from the frigid Arctic haunts of the narwhal, I know that on this day of days all our hearts are fairly bursting with sympathy for this bizarre behemoth of the deep. And on such a day who wouldn't want to make the very most of this Narwhal Day by celebrating in boisterous narwhal style? There are three components to the proper observance of Narwhal Day.

Protocol the first: wear an article of clothing gray in color. This need not to an observable piece of outerwear, unmentionables suffice, but in the true spirit of the day the displayed gray should be as public as possible.

Protocol the second: listen to "Sympathy for the Narwhal" by D.J. Seaghost, friend and ally of The Aquabats!

Protocol the third: recite "The Oath of Narwhal Day." This is the gravest of the rigors of Narwhal Day, for the tenets of the Oath are not to be entered into lightly, nor in jest. The Oath is an absurd and sacred trust, and those whose hearts are false will surely fall afoul of the ire of the narwhal.

The Oath of Narwhal Day
The narwhal is a noble, pitiable creature,
A magnificent, monstrous visage.
An asymmetrical tooth for a horn,
Or sometimes two, or sometimes none,
Half again as long as the beast.

I swear my sympathy for the narwhal.
I will not lie and convince it all is well,
But I will be a friend to the narwhal.
The mocking dolphins and snobby manatees
Will get their well-earned comeuppance,
And the narwhal will frolic all day.

I dream this dream of the narwhal
And celebrate it in all its improbably, oddball glory,
On this the ninth Narwhal Day.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of Narwhal Day
D.J. Seaghost, "Sympathy for the Narwhal" from Rice Capades (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: "All I can get is static… variations on a central musical rhythm."




I presently have the white seal impaled upon my Avenging Narwhal action figure, outfitted with the red tusk to suggest the presence of blood.

The Wayback Machinelink Tour of Narwhal Day
And now a tradition that dates back to the eighth Narwhal Day.

Narwhal Day '08

Narwhal Day '07

Narwhal Day '06

Narwhal Day '05

Narwhal Day '04

Narwhal Day '03

Happy Narwhal Day!