NARWHAL DAY!
Best wishes, dear readers, for a most sympathetic Narwhal Day! The 23rd of May is the day set aside to celebrate, contemplate, and commiserate with the narwhal, one of the true curiosities of our Class, Mammalia. The proper observance of Narwhal Day is tripartite: {a} wear at least one article of clothing that is gray in color, as is the narwhal itself; {b} listen to D.J. Seaghost's haunting ditty, "Sympathy for the Narwhal"; & {c} recite "The Oath of Narwhal Day," reproduced below. The fourth word in the last line of the Oath changes to reflect the passing years, Narwhal Day being first celebrated in, conveniently enough, Anno Domini 2001. But I caution you, gentle reader, not to affirm the Oath lightly. Narwhal Day is fun and lighthearted, but it is not a joke, and as the author of the Oath I take a dim view of oath-breakers, especially dugong collaborators.


The Threadless brand T-shirt, "Narwhal: The Unicorn of the Sea," from the author's wardrobe.

The Oath of Narwhal Day
The narwhal is a noble, pitiable creature,
A magnificent, monstrous visage.
An asymmetrical tooth for a horn,
Or sometimes two, or sometimes none,
Half again as long as the beast.

I swear my sympathy for the narwhal.
I will not lie and convince it all is well,
But I will be a friend to the narwhal.
The mocking dolphins and snobby manatees
Will get their well-earned comeuppance,
And the narwhal will frolic all day.

I dream this dream of the narwhal
And celebrate it in all its improbable, oddball glory
On this the tenth Narwhal Day.



The Threadless brand T-shirt, "The Friendly Narwhal," from the author's wardrobe.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of Narwhal Day
D.J. Seaghost, "Sympathy for the Narwhal" from Rice Capades (Captain Thumbs-up)

Commentary: The Seaghost is not himself an Aquabat!, but he is a boon companion to and stalwart ally of The Aquabats!, and thus the R.B.D.S.O.N.D. was chosen not by The Last Angry Man, but by Captain Thumbs-up, Aqua-Cadet No. 0003432.

"…Wow!"

The Wayback Machine Tour of Narwhal Day
Narwhal Day predates The Secret Base, being first celebrated on 23 May 2001, whereas my first blog post was published on 21 February '02; unsurprisingly, then, there is no online record of that first Narwhal Day. The misfortune is that though I celebrated the second Narwhal Day on 23 May '02 by wearing gray, listening to "Sympathy for the Narwhal," and reciting "The Oath of Narwhal Day," I did not memorialize the festivities here. Alas and alack!

Narwhal Day '09

Narwhal Day '08

Narwhal Day '07, Part I & Narwhal Day '07, Part II

Narwhal Day '06

Narwhal Day '05

Narwhal Day '04

Narwhal Day '03

The Explorers Club
No. CLX - The narwhal (Monodon monoceros), also narwal or narwhale.







Bonus: The scientific name of the narwhal seems to have been given to the beast by no lesser an authority than Carolus Linnaeus himself.