78 rpm
In one commercial break this evening, I saw the Cat in the Hat hawking SC Johnson cleaning products (Pledge, Swiffer sheets) and endorsing Mastercard credit services. The Cat in the Hat movie is one thing, but this manner of crass commercialism.... Anyway, that rapid thumping sound you hear, that is Theodore Seuss Geisel, "Dr. Seuss," spinning in his grave. (If he was cremated, just consider it metaphorical spinning.) I remain unperturbed, however, secure in the knowledge that his heirs will find themselves spending all of eternity in the innermost ring of Hell, the one reserved for betrayers.

Erin Go Bragh
My name is Michael Patrick Wilson. I am a confirmed, if not particularly reverent, Roman Catholic. Yet, I am astounded and outraged that Gerry Adams and Sinn Fein are allowed to participate in the Northern Ireland government. They are terrorists! They blow up shopping malls in the center of London! Gah! That said, as far as conscienceless terrorist organizations go, the IRA has one hell of a good name. Irish Republican Army, now that's classy.