THE AQUABATS!
THE AQUABATS!
THE AQUABATS!
THE AQUABATS!
THE AQUABATS!
THE AQUABATS!
THE AQUABATS!
THE AQUABATS!
THE AQUABATS!
THE AQUABATS!
THE AQUABATS!
THE AQUABATS!
THE AQUABATS!
THE AQUABATS!
THE AQUABATS!
THE AQUABATS!
THE AQUABATS!
THE AQUABATS!
THE AQUABTAS!
THE AQUABATS!

Mike Wilson, "Captain Thumbs-Up," Aqua-Cadet No. 0003432! Until yesterday, my Aqua-Cadet codename was Phat Bat. But, during yesterday's show Chainsaw, the Prince of Karate, had to change a string on his guitar; when he returned, I gave him a thumbs up, he pointed at me, and said, "Thanks, Captain Thumbs-Up!" Chainsaw gave me a new codename! Holy Toledo, that's awesome! The Mountain was, is, and will continue to be Alphaman. Phat Bat and Alphaman? Nay, it's Alphaman and Captain Thumbs-Up!

Also yesterday, in between Blueprint 76 and The Aquabats!, Alphaman went looking for the Duffmeister, to see if he could get us backstage after the show. While he was gone, I made my first single-serving rock show friend. I mean, I've traded banter with other fans before, but this girl initiated an ongoing conversation and we skanked together all through the show; her name was Crystal and she was very impressed by both my costume and that I'd seen The Aquabats! live four years ago at The Shelter, the last time they were in the Motor City. A cute girl (wearing glasses! that's so hot!) who likes The Aquabats!, I should be kicking myself for not asking her to marry me.

The opening band was terrible. Not the worst band I've ever seen live, but only because I've seen Har Mar Superstar. (After that, Hell will seem tame.) The vocalist was pathetic; his entire stage persona was a bad impersonation of Jack Black. Only, you know, Jack Black is both funny and highly ironic; this fat fuck was just sad. Anyway, there was a group of idiots thrashing about and I found myself on the edge of their pit. As one kid ran past for the seventeenth or eighteenth time, without even thinking, I just reached out, grabbed his shirt, and yanked him backwards until he fell flat on his back. Several other kids fell on top of him, and of course I pitched in to help get people off the floor. I don't know why I did it. This kid was huge, bigger than me, but he wasn't even the most annoying jerk in the pit. When he sideswiped me, I guess I just wasn't in the mood. Huh. I just threw him to the ground.

In Other News...
The Mountain has taken issue with yesterday's comment about him going hippie. He has a point; I said he talked about sending waves of love out to the whole world, but that is inaccurate. He talked about sending waves of loving kindness to the whole world. Oh, my mistake, that's much less hippie.

We caught Saddam. Insert Nelson Munch's "Ha ha!" The Iraqi War Crimes Tribunal is going to execute your ass, haus. You should have put up a fight, thus commiting suicide by proxy.