By Jove, I could murder my mail carrier! Normally, I avoid b.s. terms like "mail carrier" in favor of the real thing, mailman. Who sez "chair"? Somebody, be he man or woman, is the damn chairman! So, even if I had a female mailman, I'd still call her my mailman! But, I feel like mailman is a personal thing; you know your mailman. At my house, we've got a revolving cavalcade of folks; so, instead of the friendly mailman, I prefer the mildly hostile, or at the very least coldly neutral, "mail carrier." Anywho, on Saturday the mail's supposed to be here at noon; this schmuck comes driving up at three! It wouldn't be a problem, except my mom, before she gave up and went shopping, was watching the mailbox like a hawk. What on Earth was she waiting for? This jerko kept her waiting, as insane as said waiting may have been, and that's not cool.

Hello, Kitty
So now, in addition to drooling (yuck), Sam sometimes walks around with his tongue hanging out of his mouth. Damn it, man, have some feline pride! You're a cat, a nearly divine creature, not some crass and craven dog! Gah, you sicken me.