Zooey Deschanel Appreciation Day
Yesterday, I was IMing with Steeze and he complained that it was a lovely day in Los Angeles, but there was no one around with whom he could enjoy it. I suggested that he start knocking on doors, for surely there must be someone in his apartment complex who'd be up for playing frisbee. He speculated Zooey Deschanel might be available. Man, that would have been the coolest thing ever, because if he just dropped by and she was up for some frisbee, it would mean she'd be awesome off-screen. Because we already know she's awesome on-screen. But to just drop by might be more than just a little creepy and of course he wouldn't seriously think about it. I hope he found a way to enjoy the lovely weather without the company of Ms. Deschanel.

No one else makes disinterest so interesting.

Vote For Kodos - Special Whack-A-Mole Edition
The champion of the left has been chosen! It has been pointed out to me that at times I have been cavalier with the identities of my associates (apparently, the Internet abounds with peril); so, Lefty's true identity will be kept secret unless he (oh no, I've given away too much!) wishes otherwise. I chose Lefty over Other Guy because he seemed to have more fully embraced the concept of Whack-A-Mole. Oddly, both applicants seemed somewhat hesitant to take up the challenge; Other Guy seemed all but resistant to be the idea, while Lefty took but the challenge since no one else would. Whack-A-Mole, dear readers, is not a slugfest between the conservativism of the Republican Party and liberalism of the Democratic Party; it is about persuasion, specifically persuading me, your humble narrator, a socially liberal Republican, to reluctantly vote for the liberal Democrat, Senator John Kerry, rather than reluctantly vote for the conservative Republican, President George W. Bush.

So, here's a quick political biography of your humble narrator, Mike Wilson, The Last Angry Man, in no particular order. I think calling yourself an independent is garbage. We have had two parties in this country since day one; in a system with only two parties, each has to be as appealing as possilbe to the broadest possible range of people. Take the example of the Log Cabin Republicans, who favor fiscal stinginess. If you cannot find a home within either of the two major parties, it is only because you're pretentious. (And probably a bit of a prick.) Anywho, I am a Republican.

I favor international intervention; we were right to try and stop the civil war in Lebanon in the early '80s and we should have stopped the genocide in Rwanda in '94. I favor free trade and think out-sourcing will be a good thing in the long run (and I say that as someone who is currently unemployed). I favor capitalism and the brutal competition is enables. I think Social Security is a disaster, because to fund my parents' decrepitude, I'm going to have to pay European-style taxes; the system was simply never designed to support people through twenty years of retirement. I am pro-choice, though that is not to say I'm a fan of abortion. I support gay marriage, because discrimination is never right. I oppose Affirmative Action, because discrimination is never right. I don't like school vouchers, but at this point I'm willing to try anything to end the NEA's stranglehold over the public school system.

I believe terrorism is best addressed as a military/intelligence issue, since treating it as a law enforcement/intelligence matter resulted in 9/11. I believe the United States should overthrow foreign governments that are hostile to their own people; once the anti-American dictators have been taken out, we should start ousting even pro-American strongmen. I believe in the concept of the United Nations, but that does not mean Kofi Annan should have any influence over American policy. I favor the legalization of marijuana, because I think government Pot Stores (on the model of the Canadian Beer Store) would be a great way to raise additional revenues. I favor the death penalty for rapists and child molestors, as well as murderers and drug kingpins. I am Catholic, but disagree with the Holy Father about many issues; I believe in the authority of the Pope and in defense of my defiance can only say that I am following the calling of my conscience, and I hope the Almighty will understand.

I will have a discussion with anyone, all I ask is that you be willing to discuss facts and logical reasoning, rather than partisan screaming. I am seldom wrong, but when it has been demonstrated that i am, I will apologize and change my views. in the words of Howard Cosell, "Keep your eyes open, you might change your mind." As Whack-A-Mole proceeds, I will do my very best to keep an open mind. At present, I hold John Kerry, the Democrat's standard bearer, in very low esteem, but if Lefty can present reasonable arguments that he would make a better president than Bush 43, I will vote for him in November.

Lefty, I await your first argument.

H-A-D
Have an enlightening day.