I'll tell you what's great: brushing your teeth right after dinner. I just did it, immediately following dinner - "immediately" meaning maybe twenty minutes after I finished dinner, I took time to load the dishwasher first - and it feels fantastic. No more waiting fo bed time for me!

{What's Eating The Last Angry Man?}
Ein
My father becomes a little more intolerant every day. Today, he sided with those black church leaders who have taken offense to the use of the term "civil rights" in the gay marriage debate. He insists homosexuals aren't born homosexual, they choose to be "that way." In his way of thinking, the homosexual lifestyle is chosen in order to somehow threaten him and his children. On that score, let me say this: my children will not know their paternal grandfather.

Zwei
I generally enjoy Esquire magazine, notable sections be excluded from that remark including their coverage of fashion and their music reviews. However, in a special music supplement to the issue that arrived in my mailbox today, the idiocy reached new levels. Less Than Jake was mentioned in passing as a "Nineties power pop outfit." Sweet. Merciful. Crap. How in the high holy hell can you call yourself a music critic if you know so little about actual music that you would so radically misclassify a band? This is no mere typographical error, there's no way to accidentally type "Nineties power pop outfit" when you mean "metal-influenced ska-punk outfit." Clearly, the only reasonable reply is unspeakable violence.

Drei
Yesterday, my father (he's having a banner week) said the United States should never have conducted a single dollar's worth of trade with the People's Republic of China. Wow. Even were I not an amatuer China scholar, that statement would floor me. I mean, I know my father is a mindless follower of Lou Dobbs's protectionist beliefs on trade, but ye gods! Do you have any idea how much money American corporations have made by selling things in China and importing good manufactured in China? The truly inexplicable thign about this particular position is that my father favors immediately cutting off all trade with China - right now, today, this very minute - with no regard for the devastating economic ramifications, and yet he denounces Senator Kerry for embracing less-radical yet still flawed ideas on trade. Let me reiterate: my children will never know their paternal grandfather.

Vier
My children will never know their paternal grandfather. He's the most abominable human being I have ever had the misfortune of knowing, but still, that's sad. Kids should have a grandpa.

Funf
I do not currently have enough money to afford my rather expensive comic book habit. I'm already a couple months behind, with no end in sight. Blast it all!

{What's Pleasing The Last Angry Man?}
Ein
I haven't even finished mocking up Vol. V, No. 3 of The Newsletter, but I've already started writing my next column. You'll rue the day you met me, Jimmy Carter! Rue! Or rather, you would if we had ever actually met. Ruuuuuuuue!

Zwei
The Office. Martin Freeman is going to make an absolutely stellar Arthur Dent in The Hitchhiker's Guide ot the Galaxy.

Seven thirty-seven. Bosstones forever!