NARWHAL DAY
I've long struggled with the appropriate Narwhal Day greeting/exhortation, something along the lines of "Happy New Year" & "Merry Christmas." "Happy" works for most, but not all holidays. The British "Happy Christmas" sounds queer (the real definition of queer, which I'm going to try to bring back along with gay—you know me well enough to know that I'd never use such words as pejorative shorthand for homosexual), which "Happy Memorial Day" & "Happy Veterans' Day" sound disrespectful of our glorious dead & our living veterans respectively. "Happy Narwhal Day" is similarly quasi inappropriate, as Narwhal Day is a day of celebration of the narwhal, yes, but also a day of earnest sympathy for these bizarre, woebegone sea beasts. In the last couple of years I've arrived at "happy & sympathetic," an adequate though unsatisfactory solution. I've yet to stumble upon the perfect word. Should I wish folks a "bittersweet" Narwhal Day? Mayhap. The search continues.



Meanwhile, let me wish one & all a happy & most sympathetic Narwhal Day! The narwhal (Monodon monoceros), also narwal or narwhale, one of the strangest sights in the seven seas. A whale with the horn of a unicorn, a horn that quite possibly inspired the myth of the unicorn. No one would believe such a thing if it wasn't real. Neptune's blessings upon the narwhal for providing a constant reminder that there is plenty in our seemingly mundane world that is weird & fantastic, we just need to pay attention.

The oath is a solemn pledge. Do not take it as a jest or a lark, 'tis a serious matter.

The Oath of Narwhal Day
The narwhal is a noble, pitiable creature,
A magnificent, monstrous visage.
An asymmetrical tooth for a horn,
Or sometimes two, or sometimes none,
Half again as long as the beast.

I swear my sympathy for the narwhal.
I will not lie and convince it all is well,
But I will be a friend to the narwhal.
The mocking dolphins and snobby manatees
Will get their well-earned comeuppance,
And the narwhal will frolic all day.

I dream this dream of the narwhal
And celebrate it in all it's improbable, oddball glory,
On this the twelfth Narwhal Day.



The Rebel Black Dot Song of Narwhal Day
D.J. Seaghost, "Sympathy for the Narwhal" from Rice Capades (Captain Thumbs-up)

Commentary: There would be no Narwhal Day without the inspiration of "Sympathy for the Narwhal." D.J. Seaghost, also known as The Seaghost, is an old ally & friend of The Aquabats!, thus explaining why "Sympathy for the Narwhal" was selected as the R.B.D.S.O.N.D. not by The Last Angry Man, but by Aqua-Cadet № 0003432, Captain Thumbs-up. I was given that code name by none other than Chainsaw, the Prince of Karate, a once (& future?) Aquabat.

The Wayback Machine Tour of Narwhal Day
As this year's reading of "The Oath" reminds us, this is the twelfth celebration of Narwhal Day, the tenth time The Secret Base has been party to the fun & high jinks. This retrospective, though not always called "The Wayback Machine Tour," has been a feature of this blog's Narwhal Day observances since Anno Domini MMVIII.

Narwhal Day '11 | Narwhal Day '10
Narwhal Day '09 | Narwhal Day '08
Narwhal Day '07a & Narwhal Day '07b
Narwhal Day '06 | Narwhal Day '05
Narwhal Day '04 | Narwhal Day '03

This Week in Motorsport
Remember, this weekend is the Grand Prix de Monaco & at Monaco Friday practice is on Thursday. Got it? "Friday practice" is on Thursday. Friday is a quiet day in the Principality, ahead of the roar of qualifying on Saturday & the grand prix on Sunday. Monaco! Monaco! Monaco!