Whack-A-Mole: Preliminary Round 2 - A Vote For Kodos Special
LEFTY: Of the many topics from which to choose, I say we start with welfare. You seem displeased with the welfare system. The principles of a welfare state are that 1) Every member of society is entitled to a minimum standard of living. 2) The welfare state is commited to putting full employment at the top of the social goals to be supported by public policy. Strictly on the ideology and intentions of the welfare state, how do you stand?

RIGHTY: You do know that the point of this is to convince me to vote for John Kerry, right, Lefty? I do not believe that every citizen is entitled to a minimum standard of living. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, which means that the government won't kill you without due process, won't imprison you without due process, and won't go out of its way to squash your dreams. Nowhere in there does it say the government - and since the government gets its money from taxes, the taxpayers - owes everyone a decent living. That's up to you. Nor do I believe the government has any obligation to bring about full employment. Full employment is the fevered dream of Marxists and jai alai enthusiasts, and, even were it possible, the only way to guarantee it would be government control of the economy. And we all saw how well that worked in the Communist Bloc.

Now, because I'm a nice guy and productive taxplaying workers are good for the country as a whole, I do support a limited social safety net to assist the unemployed, recently rehabilitated ex-convicts, and those who have fallen on hard times. I fail to see how the Great Society does anything but promote the continuance of an permanent underclass.

TV!
I just discovered the show Wonderfalls. Damn it, I can't wait an entire week for another episode. You bastards!

Tommy Boy
My congratulations to Tommy Amaker and the University of Michigan Wolverines men's basketball team for their triumph over Rutgers, 62-55, to win the National Invitation Tournament. This is a good thing. It means that Michigan is the 66th best team in the country. Woo hoo! The really nice thing about winning the NIT is that you become one of only two teams who earn a spot in post-season play to win your final game. Sixty-four of the sixty-five teams in the Big Dance and thirty-one of the thrity-two teams in the NIT end their seasons with a loss.

"Hail! to the victors valiant,
Hail! to the conq'ering heroes,
Hail! Hail! to Michigan
The leaders and best!

Hail! to the victors valiant,
Hail! to the conq'ering heroes,
Hail! Hail! to Michigan
The champions of the west!"

Yeah, it's only the NIT, but after you've had seasons and seasons of memories stolen away by the greed and stupidity of Chris Webber, you've got to cheer for something.