Monday, May 23, 2016

Narwhal Day

Fondest wishes for a happy & most sympathetic Narwhal Day to all, dear readers! Today we fête the narwhal, the oddest of whales, noted & celebrated for its "horn"—actually a tusk—which in times past was often featured in cabinets of curiosity as a unicorn's horn. In the spirit of "The Explorers' Club," I exhort you to explore the narwhal on your own & to share your enthusiasm for the narwhal with your kith & kin. The narwhal is transcendent proof that truth is stranger than fiction.

The Ancient & Proper Observance of Narwhal Day is tripartite:
First, the recitation of "The Oath of Narwhal Day;"
Second, the wearing of gray clothing;
Third, the hearing of "Sympathy for the Narwhal" by D.J. Seaghost, an ally of The Aquabats!

The Oath, of my own device, sits squarely in the Mike Papa Whiskey butter zone, at the intersection of the absurd & the sublime. The Oath has no enforcement mechanism, it is only as binding on him who swears it as his conscience dictates. But I caution you against taking the Oath without sympathy for the narwhal in your heart: a man is only as good as his word. Whereas the Oath is an inward sign, the wearing of gray is an outward sign of one's sympathy for the narwhal. Anything as simple as gray socks or gray unmentionables will do, though others prefer to wear gray shirts or pants. "Sympathy for the Narwhal" is the original inspiration for Narwhal Day & a thoroughly delightful ditty. On Narwhal Day, I listen to "Sympathy for the Narwhal" early & often; it is playing on repeat as I type these lines & my head is bopping to the rhythm. (As the fellow shouts at the end o' the song, "Wow!")

The Oath of Narwhal Day
The narwhal is a noble, pitiable creature,
A magnificent, monstrous visage.
An asymmetrical tooth for a horn,
Or sometimes two, or sometimes none,
Half again as long as the beast.

I swear my sympathy for the narwhal.
I will not lie and convince it all is well,
But I will be a friend to the narwhal.
The mocking dolphins and snobby manatees
Will get their well-earned comeuppance,
And the narwhal will frolic all day.

I dream this dream of the narwhal
And celebrate it in all its oddball, improbable glory,
On this the sixteenth Narwhal Day.

the Narwhal (Monodon monoceros)—also narwal or narwhale

The Rebel Black Dot Song of Narwhal Day!
D.J. Seaghost, "Sympathy for the Narwhal" from The Aquabats! and Horchata Records Present Rice Capades Music Sampler, Vol. 1 (Captain Thumbs Up!)

"All I can get is static, variations on the central musical rhythm."

The Wayback Machine Tour of Narwhal Day
Narwhal Day '15 | Narwhal Day '14
Narwhal Day '13 | Narwhal Day '12
Narwhal Day '11 | Narwhal Day '10
Narwhal Day '09 | Narwhal Day '08
Narwhal Day '07a & Narwhal Day '07b
Narwhal Day '06 | Narwhal Day '05
Narwhal Day '04 | Narwhal Day '03

Sympathetic Narwhal Day!

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